I’ve  stayed away from this website for some months now I was trying to make things in my life better but I was kidding myself I’m no much better then I was 2/3 months ago.  my self-worth my soul  are damaged and they are  unrepairable I’m lost and homesick for a place that dose not exist I’ve tried to get on with life for my loved ones I’ve pretended to be well I cart stand to break my mothers heart anymore I don’t wont to hurt her and i know suicide is a permanent solution and they do say its for a temporary problem but for over 12 years of  battling an eating disorder depression and a personalty disorder  its not a temporary problem for me I always known that it will get the better of me one day and i’m closes to giving up again yes i have tried to end my life before on more then one occasion but  I’ll try and do anything from going there again i just wish the pain for just go away