Yesterday, I completely lost hope. I needed to die. Like right now. I was choking because of my tears. My bestfriend – and the guy I’m in love with – didn’t want me to talk to him anymore. Because everything was my fault. Because it was my fault that I fell in love with him. Because it was my fault that everyone has noticed it.
I can’t live without him. Even the weird relationship we’re having was much sufficient for me to hold on. But him cutting me out of his life was too much for me to handle.
I scarred myself. But I didn’t bleed to death as intended. I’m too scared. But I know there’s no other plausible solution. I’m not wanted. I’m rejected by my bestfriend.
I have many scars now, mainly on my wrists, but also on my elbows and forearms. It seems to me that my veins wouldn’t just explode. I can’t endure the pain of slicing my arms. But superficial veins won’t just do it.
And people are noticing by now. They see the perfectly neat scars. They know they are not caused by a cat’s scratch or anything likewise. And they pity me. But I’m sick of seeing the pity in their eyes. I just need a friend who cares. I just need my bestfriend to act like one.
But who would befriend a girl who cuts herself?