How? Just HOW? I just met my sister and she has 2 jobs now. I can’t even do this one job without falling down the suicidal thoughts slope again recently. And it’s not even a job I entirely hate. Plus I am ALREADY on meds.
Just how can people do that. And don’t get me wrong, I am NOT a lazy whiny jerk that has nothing to do but complain. I just don’t understand.
Sometimes… sometimes I think my past and childhood has robbed all my energy. And now I don’t have any left to live.
3 comments
I feel this so much. It never helps to look at others though, sometimes it just turns into more fuel for us to hate ourselves. I don’t know how to respond, being off meds, sometimes I feel much better and sometimes I just get plagued by sadness. When I was on meds, I was either happy and manic, or catatonic. I could no longer create, felt no passion or I would crash and burn. Things bothered me less when I was on lamitcal though but then, the constant forgetfulness and memory retardation was not ok. Sometimes I feel like a lazy whiny jerk, especially with people in my life under the impression that I just need to stop being so negative or that I am the problem. Sometimes I feel like life just isn’t a fight worth struggling for and maybe you feel the same way.
know the feeling, same here.
Thank you so much for your comments, you two. Knowing that there are other people who feel the same way helps a bit, I don’t feel so alone.
“It never helps to look at others though, sometimes it just turns into more fuel for us to hate ourselves”
I suppose you are right. Maybe we’re just not like… “them”, not capable of doing everything they can. The people whose hearts haven’t been shredded to pieces.
Sigh. I will try to keep that in mind. What do you think? About what I just said.