So, if any of you have been following any of my posts, Im going through a horrible time with losing my girls. I took over some lime skittles (almost impossible to find now and they were her favorite), a barbie for my little girl, and a card with some cash for her to use on whatever. I left them on her doorstep this morning and said in the card, “you dont need to call or text and thank me, I just want you to know I care and am thinking about you”
She sent me an email this morning that said, “I received your gifts on my door step. The sentiment is appreciated. But truth be told, that it is merely a disturbance brought upon my day. That should tell you now that my feelings for you are moved on, as you should”
FUCK!!!! why not just show up at our house (that you left me in all alone and I cant get away from yet) and be fucking some new guy on our couch when I get home from work. You couldnt have stabbed me any harder than that. I want to die. I probably will tonight. Thanks to everyone who has been there for me.
15 comments
Infectious, I know you’re hoping for reconciliation with her, but maybe it’s just not meant to be. From your posts and music, you have, from what i’ve seen, grown beyond the person you once were, and I can understand how still being rejected must hurt, but maybe you just need to move on. I’m not trying to attack you, just pointing out an alternative. If you do decide that it’s over, good luck and I hope a painless release greets you. ~ Mike
im so sorry. you are losing ur daughters to ur ex? is that correct? that is horrible. but dont kill yourself unless ur sure. i hope u dont, but i understand if u do. i hope u find peace in this life or the next.
Falling in love with the wrong person can have devastating consequences, as you already know.
Just accept that you made a mistake getting emotionally attached to her and take her advice and move on.
This bullshit ain’t worth killing yourself over though. I’ve been through it several times myself, so I know what I’m talking about.
You’ll get over it in time, and just remember to be more cautious when it comes to trusting your feelings with someone else in the future.
Good luck, and here’s a happy face to remind you to smile. ?
🙂
I really thought it would work! You are so kind and loving and your songs were amazing!! I know she has trust issues and you love her so much but that was so mean of her. You tried so hard!! You are an amazing guy and I know you can’t stand leaving her but if you don’t move on and find someone who will love you then you will just hurt yourself. You said that she can come back but you tried and it didn’t work. Maybe you should try moving on but still keep your heart open if she changes her mind? You have changed so much for her don’t get beaten down and fall back to weed because she may change her mind then get upset again. Keep yourself up. You are sooooo wonderful!!!!
Echoed.
Please don’t blame yourself for your past mistakes because you tried so hard and that means so much.
it doesnt mean anything to the one person I need it to right now.
But that isn’t your fault. You’ve said how she loses trust easily. She just doesn’t want to risk making a mistake that will hurt her. You’ve tried proving it to her and she denied you. She’s just tired of going back and forth. Try one last time and beg for forgiveness but if she still denies then you have to know that she may never change her mind. You keep being put in soooo much pain and you are so amazing. Please try to take yourself out of this cycle of pain.
I wish I knew what to say. This sucks. Sorry for the questions, but I’ve been away: Where does counseling stand?
Is there a chance you could wait this out a few more weeks? I have a ton of questions you might have answered over the days I had to be away. Like, what’s the longest you’ve been apart. How long does this cycle usually take to come back around? What usually triggers breakups v. reconciliations? I’m a nosy old woman.
She came to the first 2 sessions. Then said she was done and hasnt been to the last 2. We are now in the longest time that she has gone without talking to me. The cycle has always taken just at a week or so for her to miss me and want to try again. I honestly dont know what triggers it with her. Its so harsh either way that I honestly think she has BPD and from the 2 sessions we had together and the other 2 sessions I have had alone, our counselor says its a good possibility from what I have told her. I honestly dont know if there is a point in waiting any longer. She has never been just plain mean like that about a gift or something nice I have done for her. I do know from her friend that she lost her phone last week (not like she would have called or text me anyway) but that she has decided not to get another cell phone for a while because she just wants to back away from everything. She has her house phone and internet for emergency’s but I dont have her home number (even though I dont need it now). The only comfort that gives me is that at least I know shes not texting any other guys (although I guess she could talk on her home phone with them) but I really thought at first that she had already found someone else and that is why she said what she said. I dont know anymore. I really just cant keep going on like this. I miss them so much and its just not the same without them. I honestly dont want to spend my life with anyone else.
Tell her how bad you feel and ask why she has moved on. The real reason she hasn’t came back. Tell her you know she doesn’t want to talk to you but that if she just answers these questions and talks with you then you’ll leave her alone. Tell her you love her and how horrible this makes you feel and how sorry you are. And how much you have changed for her. If she still denies you then you have tried all you can. Remember that. Please please don’t let guilt, regret, and pain overtake you. You’re soooo amazing.
And I don’t know what music you’ve posted here, but I tracked down one of your songs. Good stuff.
You have so much to offer the world and some lucky lady one day Infectious. Maybe that could be her but if not, this is not a good reason to kill yourself. Everyone understands a heart that’s breaking over someone in whom you invested so much love and trust. I would carry on with the counselling and please do nothing rash.
Ps, I could see this experience spawning some fantastic music/lyrics at some point, which almost everyone will be able to relate to. It’s a rejection that’s hit you very hard, welcome to the human race, but you can perform alchemy and turn this shit into gold if you hang in there.