Dear all,
Some of you may have communicated with my brother here. His username was “Noom”. On April the 19th 2013 he drove to a secluded place and carried out his suicide via helium.
I love my brother and accepted his decision, but I’m here to give you an insight into the lives of those who have lost someone special who they love unconditionally to the tragedy you all so casually discuss.
I was married for four years – my wife couldn’t handle it and left a month after my brother died. I have spent months on end contemplating suicide and trying to cope with anti-depressants while doing my best to hold on to a job which is all I had. Our mother is the shadow of the person she was; tormented and stricken by grief every single day and my father is ridden with guilt. My eldest brother has a 2 year old daughter who will never know the most caring, sensitive human being we had in our lives.
Our lives have been turned upside down and the pain will never end for losing him in such a tragic, sudden way.
Please take my word that people care. Do not become isolated, people are more caring than you believe.
Take care.
8 comments
That must be tough to take in, I have so much stress, anger, sadness, but that is nothing compared to losing someone you really really love, as it probably would have been worst on me as I have so few people that I deeply care about and who supports me. Don’t pull the trigger, when your finger is on it, think about what your family will have to take in, two deaths, unimaginable sadness, this would probably be the worst torture put towards a human. Although that is not the only reason, you have so much to live for even at times that it doesn’t feel like it. Make yourself happy, go for something you love and get it, change your life or somebody elses.
Make yourself happy, for everybody being happy isn’t the same thing. Do whatever you love. Even if it means being alone. Don’t ever let people judge you, just do you.
I remember the name, yes, but I never directly communicated with him. You have my condolences of course. It never gets easier but we have to make do with the unenviable situation we have been given.
Stay strong, don’t give up like me.
The name strikes me as familiar, but I don’t believe I had ever spoken with him. But, I will say, the feelings you have right now, is what he, and the majority of those on this site feel everyday for years on end. You have my sympathies, but you are now in the mindset your brother had before he decided to end it. As Shepherd said, stay strong.
My condolences to you and your family – I remember Noom … but it was quite some time ago so I don’t remember specifics (I’m old and my memory isn’t what it used to be). I know I had direct interaction with him but I can’t recall the subjects and contexts. That said, I seem to recall the impression that he was not a “casual” visitor here but he was a helpful person in that, like many of the regulars that have been here for a long time, we all try to work and help as a support system to one another. But we recognize that each of us has a very real and serious reason for being here. We try to offer each other a alternative perspective on what we often cannot see ourselves, but we recognize that the ultimate choice resides with the individual and we generally try to respect that choice. This site is more about help, support and hope in spite of its title, but it’s equally about respect and acceptance of personal choice and responsibility. No one here wants anyone to take their life but we accept and respect the decision that people make to do so.
Again, you have my sincere condolences and sympathies and if I (we here on sp) can offer any help or insight, please feel free to reach out here. I don’t participate here as much as i used to but there are a lot of good people who do.
mournful dawg
That’s very sad and I feel for you. I wouldn’t be able to cope if my brother killed himself either.
It’s different when it’s you that wants to die. Somehow I’m desensitised to what other people will feel about my death. I can’t comprehend what it would be like for them. Maybe because it directly clashes with what I want. I’m normally an empathetic person but in this case, my desire to die blocks being able to see the effect it will have on others.
I don’t feel like any of this is casual. It’s slowly becoming normalised for me to discuss suicide, but I realise it is a big deal. It’s more normal for me than for other people. I live in a different world and have a different reality from others. In my world, wanting to die is normal so I can see how it might seem casual to other people. I know it ‘shouldn’t’ be this way but unfortunately it is.
I am so sorry for tour loss.
I truly am.
In your case, his actions affected many, and I find that sad and a tragedy.
But some (many) here actually have no one.
We are less likely to care about dying (just ask me).
I currently have mom, only real family, the rest truly do not care in my case, I know this for sure, unquestionable.
So, some of us don’t have ties. Some of us can and will (like me) eventually go unless something drastically changes to give hope. For me, it hasn’t. I look for it, but truly see only pain and suffering, due to a lot of factors.
And I know many here feel this same thing.
Each case is unique.
And to be honest, it is my belief that the truly good people really do not belong in this sick world.
I am sorry for your loss. BUT nothing about the discussion here is “casual.” People are in excruciating pain and it is a good outlet