RIP

I always considered Robin Williams an “original” comedian. Simply meaning he was one of the comedians I saw mostly in the movies I watched growing up. (Jim Carrey, Ben Stiller, Adam Sandler, etc.) I always admired these men and have actually hoped to meet them.

I remember being so depressed, and so lost in my life, mind, body, and soul. I had been thinking of death.. actually HOPING for death. I would imagine things and imagine the peace I would probably feel. Around this time I watched What Dreams May Come, and it gave me a better understanding of suicide (even if it is a fictional story) and surprisingly even suppressed the suicidal thoughts for a  short while. I had always believed anyone who kills themselves would go straight down under, and when having these thoughts I was very afraid of that but also unsure. In the movie, Robin says something that has forever stuck with me. In regards to his on screen wife committing suicide and being sent to hell, he pretty much said, why should someone who has been suffering on Earth have to be punished and forced to suffer more in the after life. And he is absolutely right. I pray God understands this, and maybe he has always has, because all I want is for Robin to be at peace. We all know how powerful depression can be, and to know he had struggled with it so badly, to where he had to end his life hurts. It hurts terribly.

I think all of this mixed together is the reason for me feeling sad. I never knew Robin, nor did he know me, but I can’t help but want to cry every time I think of this situation. For whatever reason I just cannot think straight anymore. I’ve been feeling so upset and confused and lost since I heard of this news. It suddenly feels like everything is crashing and I don’t know how to handle it because I’m not even sure where it’s coming from or what it is. I just want to cry and I’m just scared and lost. I’m just hoping typing this out will help me figure things out.

All in all may Robin rest in complete peace <3