Tired Of Life

Im so a fuck up in life it always seems that I can’t do anything right i will try to buy thing to fulfill the empty void that i feel or reduce the feeling by putting myself into situation or doing things that i feel will help with the pain but i always come back and i sit here and think why don’t i just end it I could there notting to hold me back anymore nobody would really care you would move on it seems like everyday that past my life falls apart piece by piece I’m spiraling out of control yet nobody can see work and stress are pilling up on me and yet i still can’t gain control of my life  I received a bottle of Vicodin from being in a motorcycle accident recently saved the prescription so I could use it for my suicide part of me bought a bike to die another part thought it would make me happier i figured if i died on it I’m happy and if i don’t it will make me feel happy. Ive tried to commit suicide in the past with other pills and failed only to wake up with a terrible stomach act, I’ve tried to commit suicide via cutting the process takes long  time ( note)  also a failure will pills like this time i know i Can succeed  i don’t know how i really got here again only that I’m here i’m tired of it all this  I’m ready to go. whats the point in living a life with goals ambitions dreams hopes or even desire the world becomes dull and the people around you only figures tools who have been manipulated in the end they don’t see the world the same as you and you walk alone. I’ve been walking this path for awhile bottle of Vicodin and some rum tonight will be end to end my life