Today as usual I woke up with anxiety barely letting me breathe, wanting to cry and going crazy in my head! I’ve been thinking for days now about overdosing but I’m such a stupid coward and I’m so scared of what comes after… I like to think in my head that once I kill myself I’ll go and be happy with my three babies, I’m 20 and yes, I’ve had 3 miscarriages, and I feel like that’s the biggest reason why I feel so depressed all the time, I miss them! I didn’t ever get to feed them, or hear them cry, they never got to drive me crazy by crying or being too bad and I wouldn’t have mind waking up in the middle of the night to feed them or wake up too early to take care of them, I would’ve rather they be here with me. I just feel so alone all the time, my mom is barely ever there for me, I have no friends at all, I have a boyfriend who’s only nice when feels like it, I lost my job… Nothing ever good happens in my life and I’m just so tired of it all. I am truly a good person, to everybody! I don’t understand why these things happen to me. I just wanna die, I wanna go be in peace for once.
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6 comments
you really are a brave girl, living through all this,
can’t even begin to imagine your pain,
you are strong, just keep hanging in there
Thank you. Trust me I’m trying. I know I’m young and got a lot ahead of me but lately I just feel like giving up.
I’m truly sorry to hear that 🙁 That would be hard and you must be strong to handle all of that. Maybe it’s time for some life changes? Find a new job, maybe a new boyfriend if he doesn’t treat you and he should and look for people who will be there for you. There are plenty of people on here that would be willing to listen and talk, me included.
Everyone says that, that I’m strong. I don’t consider myself strong… Not lately at least. And believe me, I would leave him after all he’s put me through but I have separation anxiety from him and whenever I’m about to do so I just freak out. :/ thanks though, I appreciate it a lot. I’m glad there’s people here than understand me instead of judge me.
I’m sorry for what you’ve been through and are still going through at such a young age. You’re not a coward for not taking an overdose, you must realise the risks involved and it’s not worth those risks. As the other posts say you must remain strong and take control of your life, you say you are a truly good person and the world needs people like you, you deserve happiness, please keep trying.
I really am! Which is why I don’t understand why these things happen to me… It’s not like it started recently, I’ve literally been suffering since I was a little girl, started cutting at 12 and I’m already 20 and things have just gotten worse for me. I’m trying to remain strong and not give up, I always pray so, I have a little bit of faith left that things will get better. Just need to have patience I guess. Thank you for saying the world needs people like me, for some reason that made me smile.