And it seems to be the perfect time to kill myself.
Isn’t it better to end on a high note?
I didn’t believe in love, but someone has changed my mind.
I didn’t think I’d ever stop hating myself, starving myself, stop the mutilations, but I’m healthier and happier with my body and mind than I’ve ever been. I am beautiful and my body is a stubborn miracle.
I don’t want to watch it lose that, to experience my mind deteriorating, to slowly amass more people who hate me and more negative memories through my life.
It’s so much nicer to end it when I’m happiest.
There will be music in my ears.
There will be food in my belly.
My last kiss will be tingling on my lips.
And I’ll die happy.
4 comments
… or you could continue experiencing and striving to be happy.
I understand wanting to leave on a high note… That works for some things. I left a job years back while things were still going well. In that case, I found a new job and things worked out. But leaving life when things are going well isn’t quite the same. If you’re happy, enjoy it. There will be challenging moments… but that’s just natural. If you’re happy now, there’s no reason you won’t experience happiness going forward.
I can totally relate to you. So much so i had to make a profile just to leave this comment. Every time i find something to be happy about it always goes horribly wrong. But let me tell you something that i did without noticing. I had a great bf. Like no one i ever met before. And i couldn’t believe it. So i intentionally made it a terrible relationship. And i was at peace with this terrible relationship. Please don’t do that to yourself. I escalated our relationship until it got physical and he almost killed me. Yes i always wanted to die but as i was about to taste sweet death i realized i can’t die at his hands. Our daughter needs me more than him.
Well if your life is going good. then I suggest you take the good times as long as things are good.
But I can understand you not wanting to see your life deteriorate. But stp thinking that way
if you think that way you will create that for yourself. Stick rond and enoy the happiness you have now. try something adventurous with your life while things are going well.
It must be like: “It’s not just that you have made my life more beautiful, but helped me to see the beauty in my life”, and that’s good. [Music in my ears, food in my belly, a kiss tingling on my lips] I know — So, stay…