Hi I’m Arianna… So i recently came out as Bi/BisexualxD, but no one knows, but me.. So basically I’ve came out as bisexual to myself.. I’m going to tell my parents, but I don’t know what exactly to say to them, my mum is quite random about her reactions/emotions.. Mostly because of the alcohol she drinks literally everyday, soooo she might be either happy for me or just hate me even more then she does already.. Any suggestions?? Thanks X333
Everything is my fault it seems , I can’t be happy for more than a two hours , I’m giving up , I push everyone away so they won’t get hurt when I’m gone , and maybe by making people hate me it won’t be so hard . I’m giving up and I’m counting down the days . I can’t wait to be free from everything I can’t wait to be somewhere where I can be happy . I have given up and I have set my mind . I hope I can help others I hope one day people won’t be so sad that they turn to killing themselves I hope one day people stop bullying others for things they can’t control . I’m ending this here , goodbye for now
I have this habit whenever I’m down of the cycle, I tend to purposely piss off people around me. I want them to hate me because apparently my hate for myself is not enough to pull the trigger. I want them to hate me so they would feel less bad about my death.
But then again, someone special told me that making them hate me doesn’t change the fact that they care for me.
But then again, my stupid excuse is habit. Or maybe I’m just accumulating this giant ball of hate to swallow.
I want to break up with my lover for this stupid reason. But I can’t seem to afford losing her. Having her is like the greatest thing I could ever ask for. And yet I think of such things.
Every night as I lay my mind and body to rest, I pray the angel of death to greet me. Every morning I am stricken with the remembrance of life. The pain and torture of my misery. Good riddance to those who hate me. Hello to those that have left. Goodbye to all the rest.
I lost the game. She really does hate me now even though, my depression and apathy were the causes for why I pushed her away. I guess I deserve this fate… A fate worse than death or Hell… A living Hell with only one escape. It’s fine. I was tired of fighting sanity and life, anyway… I’m moving my date to tonight.
I don’t hate you, I promise. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I just don’t know why I keep pushing you away maybe you’re just too nice. It’s been so long since I’ve had real emotions and you brought that out and now I’m scared. My dark thoughts visit me while I’m lying in bed, hoping I don’t wake up the next morning but for a while now it’s thoughts about you that whisper in my ear before I sleep. I know how much I hurt you this past week and you probably hate me. I don’t even blame you. I’m not even sure if you’re on sp but I just need you to know that I don’t hate you. I get butterflies in my tummy every time you sit next to me and whenever you smile and I don’t want you to make anyone else feel that way and sometimes it hurts so much to see you laugh with other people but then again, its my fault for pushing you away.I’ve seen your cuts and I know you’ve noticed mine but we chose not to say anything. I know you’re suicidal too… I don’t know why I keep being so mean to you. I know exactly how horrible it will make you feel and just saying sorry won’t help. I guess its just because you scare me because you made me feel things that I haven’t before. Because you understand me so well. Because you know me a little too much. We’re not even all that close but you know me more than the best friend I’ve had since 7th grade. I’m just confused…I don’t know what I’m feeling. I can’t tell if I’m still numb. I’m more than just sorry for all the things I’ve said to you.
I know that I haven’t been around for awhile…… I’m still alive 🙁 and no I’m not implying that I have attempted to change that…… Meh school things have been fairly stressful, and in addition to getting “help” most of my free time has been spent in bed. I’ve sort of been hanging out with people recently, I think I can call them friends, not certain though. Failing school and stuffs as always, my professors hate me because I am a failure who doesn’t take the classes that they teach seriously and I am simply wasting their time. My “friends” have also all mostly started dating people, so they will of course be gradually spending less time around me. 🙁 They will probably grow to hate me too, since they will probably be able to pick up on the jealousy (jealousy is the best fitting word here, but isn’t perfect) that I hold towards them…… It’s not like I have a romantic interest in them or the people they are dating or anything, nor do I have a romantic interest in anybody (never really have either) But I do sort of really want to date somebody, anybody really…… It seems nice to have somebody to be that close to. I guess I am mostly just jealous of their ability of developing interest in people and having a sex drive and all those normal things that they have that enables them to be able to date. :/ I wish I had those things. Meh oh well, I doubt that will ever be a thing I experience, friendship is surprising enough for me to have experienced. My birthday is soon too, this won’t really be an easy birthday either. This is the birthday that when I was very young that I had promised myself that I would kill myself on…… I made that promise to myself over 10 years ago, I don’t know why I chose this one, but it seemed like the right one. I really don’t know if I am ready to die yet though, I want to stay alive as this isn’t really a great time for my father right now…… But how will breaking a promise that I have always been intending to keep feel? I cut myself again tonight, my counselor is going to be mad at me about that 🙁 He probably hates me too…… I want to stop it, I want to stop hating myself too….. I just want to be like most other people……
Sorry for sounding like a whiny little *****, I just needed to tell somebody these things.
I want to pin you down
and kiss the breath out of your lungs
I mean it
To me, you always will be.
I knew that you were a beautiful person
From the moment I met you-
I could feel it.
you complete me.
The void is gone
when I’m with you.
Nothing hurts anymore.
I was wrong
It’s too much
You’re too much,
I want to be there for you,
I really do
And I want to love you
I’ve let you down
(too many times).
I know I promised,
but as you said,
I’m like the rest.
You should hate me.
Why don’t you hate me?
It’s better we never speak again
I am always sad for no reason. I cry myself to sleep alone in my room. I write poems on wattpad how I feel about the world. I always wonder why I’m still living, it’s for people I care about my mom, my friends. My friends don’t give a damn about me but I still love them. I can’t look in the mirror without insulting myself. I literally have no point in this messed up world. It is the ugliest place I’ve ever been. I have lost my sanity that I have made a finger puppet to talk to. Afew days later I stopped talking to him and I feel like I hurt him and I cry and cry I’m a cry baby I am a wimp. I am not strong enough to commit suicide I need a suicide encourager in my life and I would of done it. I doubt anyone would finish reading this but if you didn’t, that’s okay I’ll still rant on. If I weren’t me and I was somebody else I’d hate me. I already hate me. If you read this to the end thank you. I’m sorry for waisting your time but I didn’t know where else to go.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!! I’m just done. I swear someone somewhere in the great beyond must hate me. The second I have a bit of happiness to my name it gets ripped away. I’m so done with this BULLSHIT!! I can’t be happy for two days without someone saying or doing something to break me down all over again. The guy I’ve just trusted with my deepest darkest secrets may not even want me. All I want it to be happy. But No. No happy for Natalie. Never. God……I always mess up. This is so fucking stupid. I should just end it now. I mean it’d be better because when I’m dead I won’t have to worry.
it doesn’t feel like they do, anyway.
i want to make everyone hate me so i can kill myself in peace.
Hi. I found this website a few days ago, and I decided to post my story. When I was 16, my parents took me to a psyc for the first time because I was having minor anxiety and attention issues. 1 year later, the side effects had me depressed as hell. I was 18 when I tried to slit my wrists. I failed, obviously. 3 years later I started cutting. If I’m lucky enough to get anyone here before they start, don’t start!!! I was 22 when I tried to overdose on psyc meds. Now, I’m trying to stop cutting but failing. I want to end it, but for some stupid reason I keep going. That’s my story. Please don’t hate me.
instead of doing a new years resolution this year, i decided on somewhat of an ultimatum. i decided that if this year proves to be the same shit its been like in the past years, i’m not going to live anymore. i’ve wanted to kill myself for going on 3 years, and i’m finally giving myself a reason to do it. if this year turns out to show me that life is worth living, i wont kill myself. i doubt this year will show that, and i’ve started creating a rough outline of how i’ll do it. i shouldn’t be in this world, i hate it here and that hate grows every second. and i honestly don’t think much will prove in this year to show me that this world doesn’t hate me back. but i felt like i should share this somewhere. but i’m giving myself a year. one year that will either end finally with my suicide or actually enjoying my life more.
I’m sick of my sickness, don’t touch me, you’ll get this
I’m useless, lazy, perverted, and you hate me
Am I alone in finding a way to blame myself for every single problem, no matter how trivial? Honestly, everything is my fault. I’m sorry. Trust me, the guilt is like gravity to me.
She is perfect, and I imperfect. Things are as they should be.
Let me start out with a list of things that’s wrong with me
I’m fat I’m stupid (failing 3 classes in school) I mess up people’s day get called names by my parents and I mess up things in general.
I’ve been diagnosed with depression
I want to die and I deserve to anyway
I’m a burden to my 3 friends and family because of these reasons and others.
When someone’s having a good time or having fun ill say something and then ruin there time
I swear my parents hate me they’ve call me lazy ignorant a whiny little ***** they’ve told me to screw of cause I was trying to say something.
My mom’s yelled at me for being suicidal.
I hate myself for all of the reasons and deserve to die for a lot more than these
I never get picked to help or do anything
No one likes me my 3 friends barley like me
I wish I was never born I hate myself and everything I do and hate myself for even being alive.
i deserve every inch of pain i’m getting, i’m a worthless peace of fuck and i’m too much work, i just bring the ones i love down, i make them hate me. but i deserve it. they need better than me. how could anyone love someone who doesn’t love themselves.