Sinking

I’m getting sick now. I’ve been running on so little sleep and didn’t eat much for 2 weeks (Thank you to everyone who donated so far, I bought groceries, a jacket and put some gas in my car <3  ), and I’ve been working my butt off everyday. The days I have off from walmart are spent scouring the internet for jobs and housing leads. I guess it’s catching up with me. I’m not super sick yet, but I’ve been feverish all day, have a sore throat and been more tired than usual lately.

As the picture above says.. when you stop struggling, you float. But how do you stop struggling when you have no place to live, barely can afford to feed yourself, put gas in your car and can’t afford to pay your bills. I have at least one of the 2 banks I owe money to calling me every other day. I don’t have a place to live, I’m working my ass off at walmart as much as they will allow. I’d gladly take more hours/shifts. I’m an awesome worker. My supervisor loves me and calls me her rockstar. But the company won’t allow more hours.

How does one stop struggling to survive when struggling is the only thing that makes anything better? If I stopped fighting to live, I wouldn’t have food, shelter or a means to get to work. What am I doing wrong?

I’m so tired. I’m so tired I can’t even think straight. I need mercy. I’m begging for mercy. I am having so much trouble just surviving, and I’m still sliding backwards. It’s like the harder I try, the faster it slips out of my grip… But I can’t just let go.

I feel like I don’t even make sense anymore. I’m just so tired. And my head hurts.

Please continue to share this link. Seeing how generous some people are, and how willing they are to help someone in need has been like the only bright spot in my life this last week. Thank you all.