had enough

I have tried suicide so many times and ended up in hospital, but all i want is for the pain to stop, my ex boyfriend to leave me alone, he is the reason i’m in this mess, killing my baby and beating me up, breaking my bones and my heart. scars and nightmares is all i have now, and i just want to be better and feel better but i cant. he turns up and beats 50 shades of shit out of me, and all i can do is smile and pretend nothing is going on. when i feel like i need to tell someone they think i’m lying i show them the scars and bruises and they still don’t think its real, what am i supposed to do?? i think i’m done here, fed up of this and fed up of being unsafe, why not find the freedom of death. he has done this to me.