So haven’t posted in a while and I guess it’s because things were okay. But since I can’t access my doctor right now, I ran out of my anti depressants and after two or three weeks of not taking my daily “happy” pill, I’ve sunk right back to where I was before. Have you ever felt like you’re body us literally screaming that it’s your time to die? That’s what it feels like now, but of course, a part if me flashes images of my brothers, my Lil sister, the friends I still do care about, and it says that if I die, I may cause them the same hell that I’ve been in for the last years. So basically, I’m only holding in for them, but my body is dying to go (no pun intended). I don’t know how long one can live for others for. I really do feel like the 4 months left to my promise will be the longest months ever. I do want to go. And now would be good. *sigh*