You wake up in the morning – happy as can be. You strive in life to put a smile on anothers’ face, but struggle to put one on your own. The evening comes and the thoughts wander in – What if…wouldn’t it be great…how would others react it…
Ive been through this website a few times as I struggled to keep myself from making a second attempt. I read about how others feel, the struggles they go through, the stories that match mine.
Having a constant loss of happiness is the worst pain. The moments spent creating little notes and looking up various ways of attempting. The fascination of the curiosity of how others would react if you were to be successful.
To go would be amazing. To no longer feel the pain of living. The urge to put a smile on another’s face is what keeps one from taking his life. The struggle is real. Will the struggle ever end? Who knows.
/ I apologize in advance. It is nice to just sit down and take a moment to write whats on ones mind.
2 comments
Maybe that’s what we should all wish for.
The struggle to end rather than our lives to end.
I desperately need a purpose to go on.
Until I find it, the struggle will go on.
It’s horrible to think of the what if’s but the what is is worse so it’s a kind of like a brief mental escape but at the same time it’s still feels like shit thinking what could’ve been there really is no winning in a situation like this unless your reality improves drastically in one way or another which for a lot of people here is probably unlikely.