I am a genderfluid, bisexual (stronger preference for girls), depressed as hell, self harming, masochistic person. The two H’s in life that equal some small degree of happiness are horses and hugs. I got a haircut two days ago that made me feel handsome for the first time ever. But the guy I like didn’t like the new style. Well, that shouldn’t matter but it does. I’m too dependant on others. I need to know if I’ve done something right and self loathe if something goes wrong…
I need a hug. A real one. Instead I cut and grin because my blood runs warm across my skin. I’m going more insane, and my will is weakening. I can’t handle this world and it sure as hell wants to reject me.
5 comments
hug a horse! 😀
but seriously, i hope you aren’t one of those attention seeker people who cut just so they can put it on facebook and get 72 likes.
hope life gets better for you, though! 😀 *hug*
Cutting is not just attention seeking. Self harm has serious forces involved before and after. I used to engrave words in my body. I don’t have Facebook or twitter so I don’t post anything. Only on suicide sites where I’m not known and I’m with people who understand.
I don’t need or want attention. Not for cutting or depression. All I seek is understanding or something that will ease my pain. I don’t give a frogs leap about Facebook or social media. The only one who sees my blood is me.
Much like your username. The only one who knows me is me. I come to this anonymous site because I can express my thoughts without consequence. Without screwing up more than I already have. Don’t judge me without due cause because I am a confused, hurting individual who does not need more criticism and misery.
i kinda understand where you’re coming from I am 15 years old and I just started cutting..I know your life will get better because the rain eventually stops. a storm can’t go on forever you know. <3
Thank you. For a while I was over the storm but alas she has returned to crash upon my shores and tear at my soul until only the debris remains present.