I want to kill myself at the age of 15, I have no one, I fight with my mum all the time, my dad doesn’t want to be in my life, my family doesn’t want mw in the family, my so called friends want me to leave, some people want me dead.. I can’t handle it anymore, im starting to agree with them that me dying will be the best thing for everyone!. Me being me I was looking on the internet how many tablets of panamax you need to overdose but than I came across this website.. I have wanted to kill my self for so long now at the young age of 15, its wrong.. I shouldn’t be thinking like this, but I am.. I’ve had around 5 tablets already within 40 minutes or so, ny stomach feels like its shrinking, im feeling sick, my stomach to me feels like its being sucked inside of me!!
I want to take another one or two and take my life but I don’t wanna disappoint my bestfriend (jayden) he’s in another state, which means I can’t see him! I need some advice.. Before I take the next one, please! Anyone!
I can’t talk to anyone I know, because they will all judge me, plus my mums a nurse and who knows what she will do!
Please! Someone give me some advice?! Is this going to hurt?!?!
does getting your stomach pumped hurt as much as everyones saying!?!
8 comments
HBW,
I hope you are okay since posting this. It’s very sad that someone so young is in so much pain that they feel suicide is the only option. You are definitely not better off dead, however, and anyone who tells you so is wrong and likely full of hate.
L4Y
(L4Y@cogeco.ca)
dear hbw,its not a pleasent experience but better than what your going through. glad you found us. like a lot of folks here, i was looking for methods, and found this. been here ever since. if i had answers i doubt i would be here, but i find something here that keeps me going. they are a really big help during a real bad time. the breakup of a relationship is hard,and very hard on the emotions. i get “why dont you love yourself like you love the other person” infuriates me. i have always been taught to “give” love, but never learned to “accept it.” however, after a lot of thought, i have been thinking of giving this one a try. its awkward,and im not used to it.but im doing a lot of things now that are awkward and that im not used to. what i have been doing, including attempts (yes, plural. their have been many over the years. the first i was younger than you are now.) is not working. life is giving me no other choice. i have to do something, anything, now. i can continue on the same way, or i can try something diffrent. the diffrent options of death i have found are niether easy or painless. despite popular belief it is a very hard thing to do.only you know you. try new things (another one that infuriates me) a friend is going to teach me to snowboard. lol. yeah, that one is always good for a laugh. but hey, why not, i like laughing. it feels good. ranks right up their with hot, lavender bubble baths, and chocolate sundaes with extra whipped cream and nuts. peace to you
Oh no t13! I asked someone to love themselves like they love the other person today. I hope I didn’t sound preachy and infuriate anyone. I wish I could take my own words to heart :/
hbw, I hope that you find a way to cope and that you one day look back on your most trying teen years like “that was a TRIP and I’m glad it’s over.” Teen years are the twilight zone. I hope you are not too ashamed to talk to the people that care about you. It’s a terrible feeling of loneliness but I am glad to see you on here.
i agree with what you say beautiful. same problem.i dont take my own advice. just because it may aggravate me dosent mean its not true. i have never loved me. that in itself is going to take some work. ive read your posts and preachy is not a word i would use to describe them. to see this ugliness we live with described in such a beautiful, humane way is refreshing. what a talent you have. taking the darkest, most foul aspects of human nature, and transforming them into wonderful works of art. people dont understand our words. but when confronted by a piece of art that touches the very essence of their spirit, no words are needed. so thank you. please, keep trying to tell OUR stories through your work. such gifts as beauty AND talent should not go to waste. peace
tc13, people tell me to “think positive” all the time and it drives me crazy! I never want to sound like that so thanks for the reassurance. Also, thanks for brightening my day and lifting my spirits once again as you do for many others on here (and I am sure elsewhere). How could an earth angel like you not love you?
um, ok. uh, not quite used to compliments. thats a diffrent feeling. if you caught any of my rants against HAYTRED and GOD you might understand. i was a mean, dark, angry, violent person for a very long, long time. caused a lot of pain and misery for me, my family,and friends. i was them. i know that that nastiness very well. a good friend showed me the beauty, joy and love in the happy happy joy joy bubble of sunshine and flowers. i may not attain such bliss, but i can protect it from being corrupted by dark evil that would destroy it. the folks here are hurt, wounded, tired, and weak, and vulnerable to the lies and meathods of this trash. i know how to fight them. im no longer afraid of them.they fear me now and thats good. yes, it feels good (another odd, strange feeling, what is that?) to know that i helped someone, somewhere,somehow, someway. but my spirit is stained with the dark evil truth of my past. kind of hard to love something that carries that much hate. what iv seen of your work expresses it perfectly. peace to you
I love this site. Just like I love y’all.
yeah.