breathe,i must remember to breathe. in, out, in, out…,paralyzing fear. like the first time i was shot at. my brain is numb, and has a difficult time making decisions. must do. anything. so scared. so damn emotional. making me crazier. cant stop crying. no more tears and i cant stop crying. seeking help, but what can be done? it dont go away. the only ones who understand are in the same boat with me and sinking fast. so disconnected from evrything. i want to die. yet, i want to live. i want to experience joy, happines and all the good emotions that i have denied myself. i was taught real men dont cry, we dont experience pain, its unmanly to show your hurts and weaknesses. ok, yall win, im a little sissy man, you go be all macho,im just gonna lay here and cry.( in, out, in, out…) the freight trains a-comin and im too tired to get off the tracks. huh, maybe i should write country songs?
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It’s not too sissy to cry, we need to get the emotions out, and it’s the way to do it, men and all, I’ve been brought to tears. You want to live, focus on that, to experience happiness and joy, life has made us so negative, brought me down to such a low ebb. Try and make it through, life’s hard at times and we feel lost in it, sometimes it does seem only the tough can thrive, but we can all be brought down, and we can all make it as well.
dear nias, thank you for your kindness.PLEASE, PLEASE, dont cry. im on the YYYAAAAA roller coaster of emotions right now. last thing i wanna do is make some one else cry. the best help you can provide me right now is to LAUGH, sing, yell, scream, make love, dance around the fire naked on a full moon night, dance around the fire clothed on a quarter moon night,kiss your pets and tell them they are loved by a electronic stranger. i think you get the gist. thank you so much, as well as all of you at sp, for the help and support you give this crazy old man.
It’s been a bit of a sad day for me. It’s when you say you’re scared, it does upset me to think of someone who’s scared or frightened, I seem to get quite emotional at times. I hope you get through this, please keep calm; I’ll be okay, I’m just sad as I said, but tomorrow I’m sure I’ll be alright again, as I hope you will be too.
aw,yes, the fear. one of those things that i am learning to push through. one of those constant, all the time, things thats just is their. getting used to it and pushing on through it are hard lessons that im dealing with now. life is in a flux right now but will level out soon. im just impatient. i want it now.why a sad day? you helped somebody with your kindness and caring. thats a lot to be happy about.
hugs
thanks whispers. hugs back to ya.
I bet you anything that Johnny Cash cried, and all those macho-men in the South love that dude. He also wrote country music. On the other hand, one of the songs he wrote was called, “Flushed from The Bathroom of Your Heart.” Heh.
Hope you’re doing better, tc.
thanks, xandu, you make me laugh bro, thats better than any chemical med. yeah, i can either write some really bad country, or really good blues.think we’ll ride with the blues.