I feel so glad to have found this site. I just want to say what I’ve felt for so long without the typical, “It’ll get better! You’ll be fine!”. I’ve attempted suicide 3 times. First time I chickened out of shooting myself, second time I drank 5 energy drinks and took sleep aids and that didn’t work. I’m just a freshman in college…I did this in high school. The third time almost worked I think. I suffocated myself with duct tape. Sounds stupid, right? I woke the next morning. My lungs were on fire and my sides hurt, but I woke up. For a while after that things were fine. But now that I am in college everything is getting worse. I have severe adult ADD, so unless I take meds, I can’t really function normally. I spend a lot of time in my head…and it tears me apart. If you have ADD and know what that feels like, I’m sorry you have to deal with that. And if you don’t you’re lucky. It feels like your trapped inside your mind with no way out and it’s painful because all I do is let people down. I’m on the brink of losing everything to pay for school. And it’s my fault because I thought that for once I could do something awesome without having to use medication. I was so wrong. I’ve let my family down..and I’m worthless..and I’ll never succeed. That’s why I’m doing it. I’m gonna get back on my meds and probably OD. Maybe this time it’ll work.
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4 comments
First off, I’d just like to say that there is no shame in taking medication in order to function better in your life. Some of us are dealt a hand in life whereas we have certain conditions which require some additional help to control them. It’s not your fault at all.
I’m sorry you have felt this way for so long. But there is a better way to handle it than taking your life. You sound like someone with so much potential. I hope you won’t throw that away.
L4Y
(L4Y@cogeco.ca)
Idk, if it would be considered once or twice. First I tried water intoxication, I drank 2 gallons in less than 30mins and the 2nd one, I tried hanging myself, I hung for a bit, but my legs managed to hold to a branch and eventually push myself up. Im trying to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge, im a junior in High School
I think you can see from the people here and your own experiences how hard it is to commit suicide, please think hard before trying to overdose, it’s not a very successful way but may well harm you. I can’t say things will get better, and I know how hard it is to live a life with depression which seems neverending, but talking will help. Please don’t think you’ve let anyone down, especially your parents, their love for you will mean they’ll understand, they definitely won’t want to to kill yourself over it. You are not worthless kah2520, just circumstances in your life have brought you down, but you’re definitely a decent and worthwhile person, please know that.
Maybe you’ll find letting all those thoughts and feelings out on SP might help some. I’ve thought about seeing my doctor again for more meds too but like nias says overdose is tricky and most likely you’ll just end up in the ER with a tube stuck down your throat and charcoal pumped into your stomach. Been there done that..wasn’t fun.