Hi, I live in Asia and currently a 23 years old male
I feel that my entire life is in constant loops of suffering. I do not have a normal family, and I am an illegitimate child. Yet, i always do not let my identity define myself. Apart fron that, i was always bullied in school, with people constantly calling me names. Because of that, I had a very low self esteem and always tried to avoid people. I did not participate in any activities, and always went home straight if there was no make up classes. I had a really bad 5 years in my school & I remember praying everyday to God for strength to make it through school. But fortunately, it was in there I made some really good friends that last till today. Recently in a span of 6 months, I lost the relationship with 2 of my friends I loved the most, and my aunt also died due to breast cancer. I know how it’s like to fall, pick myself up, and fall again. The constant cycle of standing on one’s feet after failing can be so tiring beyond comprehension. It makes me think ” there is no end to this and what’s the point ?” Hence, I’m terribly tired of trying… trying so damn hard to live everyday. I get mad easily and my head physically hurts when I hear irritating noises ! Although I’m struggling w suicidal thoughts, I’m still hanging on thin thread. The only redemptive factors are being able to leave this place someday, and helping others worst than me. I will try to either study nursing or occupational therapy , and work in hospital. So i hope others can press on too ! It is hard , and the road might seem long and filled with hardships. Think of something u love – Universe ? Character ? Things that inspire you ? And work towards ur goals no matter how hard it is. Life is too short anw, and yes, we can always die later right ? Why not keep trying & die later ? Don’t let anyone or anything bring u down further. A lot of people are suffering and no one deserves it. Yes, even I’m envious of others as they seem seemingly so happy and successful… but remember – you can always die later !!! I hope when I look back at my life, i will at least be contend of what I have tried. Good luck everyone !! Sincerely wishing you guys good luck and keep hanging on !!
4 comments
Im sorry to hear about the painful times you have been through. I can relate.
I am glad you are pushing past the issues and have an optimistic view of the future
I believe you can become a really good nurse or occupational therapist and help a lot
of people and that will give you a purpose in life and be rewarding in many ways
Good luck on your path my friend.
Thank you so much for the encouragement , overcomer72 ! That was badly needed, and i hope we can both (and the rest) can look back one day and smile at the path we have been through. Have a great life !! 🙂
Mushroom, you sound like you pulled some strength from some pretty tough experiences build on that. A guy like you has inner strength that could move walls. Youll get in there. Hang in there for now. Your not the type to me to give up. Im sure you like yourself. You have to if you stand up to bullies and be a man like you have been your whole damned life living up to the fact that your an illegitimate child. I know these types of experiences can be challenging. You seem like the type of guy that can take it. I can feel the hope inside of you and I just want to say this. You were given a badge of hurt by being born an illegitimate child. You were given something bad that came in life. You couldnt control it. None of us can control it. Thats why were here.
I hope you get better 🙂