Why did this happen to me? Why did I fall so deep into this dark hole which engulfs my spirit? Why does this hole block out love, peace, and happiness? Why must I feel such hatred and anger towards others? I could ask “why” millions of times, but i won’t get an answer. I’ve tried for years, trying to find an answer. My mom told me to pray as a kid, that God would answer all my questions. Well where was God when I needed him in my darkest hours? In the hours I held a gun to my head, or popped a few pills. Where was he? I want hope… I need it, but nothing can provide me with even a small but of it. I’m still lost, scared, and willing to die.
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The “Why?” question can be difficult to answer. Sometimes, there simply is no answer. Life events seemingly happen randomly. Some make it through life easily while others deal with challenge after challenge after challenge. Your life experiences are probably affecting your feelings toward others. It would be hard to have a life of heck while, at the same time, not express some outward negativity. Hope is still possible. Maybe you’ll need to reach outside of you for some help. Whether it’s a therapist, spiritual counselor (you mentioned God), or someone in your community, it might help you to discuss what’s going on and some alternate ways to deal with it. Fortunately, the gun and pills weren’t successful. Writing about your situation is the first step. Seeking assistance might be the next. Don’t give up on yourself. Death isn’t the answer.
that question gets asked a lot here. it was the title of one of my rants. i havent got an answer to that , yet, but have recieved many good tips and advice about what to do about it. i have lived with clinical depression for so long that, if i was cured, and became a NORMAL person, i wouldnt know how to act. it would depress me. ironic, huh