In time all foul things come forth…
Technically he raped me. The definition of rape is forcing someone to have sexual intercourse against their will. That’s what he did.
I’ve never really told anyone this. I’ve hinted about it to friends, but they were never that interested. I’m ashamed because it isn’t something you ever want to admit. Makes me feel weak.
It was St Patrick’s day last year, he was drunk. I humored him when he came into my room. I even humored him when he wanted to kiss me. But then he took it too far. I said no. He pinned my arms back. I always thought I was stronger than him. I said no again and again. It spurred him on. Eventually he let up when he realized it wasn’t doing anything for me. I felt sick.
It lasted no more than 5 minutes.
And I forgave him, because he was drunk, and didn’t remember it the next morning. And I loved him.
It nearly happened again on his birthday. I felt it repeating itself again, so I just went with it. I was terrified. I never told him that.
Maybe I’m blowing this out of proportion. Maybe that happens to everyone.
I hope to God he’s never done it to anyone else.
7 comments
You’re not blowing it out of proportion if that is what happened.
Your friend sounds like a monster, who knew he could take advantage of you. I to was raped at 15 by a guy I liked but I can’t bring myself to ever really say it was rape because 1. I loved him and fancied him for a longtime and 2. We were both really drunk and maybe I asked for it. All I can remember was screaming to get off me then I blacked out. All I remember was waking up in a bush with my undies down around my ankles. I wasn’t hurt physically but the emotional pain hurt like hell. But then how could I call it rape if it didn’t hurt? It only hurt my pride, respect and self esteem…. Anyway blah blah about me I hope you get better and find a man who truly loves you. You are gay right? Like someone once said to me they could have had their way with your physical body but they can never touch your soul or break your spirit that is what our own minds do to ourselves. Don’t kill yourself then he has won. I hope you find happiness. I found mine and it comes in a bottle. 🙂
I just want to say that pain comes in many forms. It doesn’t require physical pain to be hurt. If you were hurt mentally or emotionally, you were hurt. Rape doesn’t require physical pain to be rape. If you blacked out, you probably didn’t resist in that state and that might explain why you didn’t hurt physically.
Whatever you consider it, I’m sorry that happened to you.
that’s fucked man.
So you led on a drunk who wanted sex? And then did it again? When did the rape happen?
yeah thats the reaction i assumed i’d get
You should report him for sexual assault. He was never a true “friend” if he would do this to you, and yeah, I’m sure he’s done it to others. Someone needs to stop him.