lately my mental health hasn’t been too well.
i feel like i’m wearing a mask.
i am the happy and energetic person with my friends, but when i get home it’s like i’m a totally different person.
i always feel so unhappy and i feel like there’s something missing.
it took me a lot of courage to actually type this out.
i’ve started self-harming
i’m surprised no one has noticed all the scratches on my wrist, but i’ve been trying to hide it.
i’ve gone from scratching myself with fingers and biting myself
to pazors and compass points
but i want something more
i want to cut, but
i don’t want to see the blood
see all the useless mixture flowing out of my veins
i’ve started having more suicidal thoughts than before. it’s like the whole world i live in is a place to die.
i don’t know if this is an existential crisis, or depression… or mood swings from puberty but
please just kill me now.
troye sivan’s album ‘TRXYE’ makes my heart ache so much.
it’s almost as if
i can relate
and also SIA’s ‘Burn the Pages’
oh god, that just makes me feel like
i’m worthless and i’m never able to do it
never able to ever ‘burn the pages’
i’m never able to get out of this vortex
of never-ending thoughts and
the urge to scratch myself
it…
hurts.