It’s like my mind is clogged with overwhelming thoughts and feelings. It’s never small things either, it’s like my mind is trained to force questions upon myself like “Why am I alive” and “What’s really the point to all of this”. I feel so alone, I have few friends and none of them understand what it’s like to wake up and wish you were dead. (I’m pretty sure that’s a song lyric)
I never talk to anyone other my psychologist about how I feel, I’ve tried before and I just get judged and put down. People think I’m an attention whore if my sleeve slips up my arm just enough to see my scars. They’ll never understand what it’s like to have someone look you up and down and then say to you “You’re just another fucked up cutter. Go kill yourself!” I wish I could stand up for myself but whenever I do I just get in shit and that leads to problems at home.
All I want is for someone to understand. Surely that can’t be too much to ask for.