so first of all right now i feel so bad my parents have split up and it really bothers me when they see each other or try to discuss something they end up arguing ..
i have a little brother and a little sister and i just try to get away from my family and not tell them anything just stay in my room on the laptop chat to my friends. i usually go outside with my friends and i usually am happy with them as long as everyone is talking or doing something when im left alone or its quiet for a bit i start to think of all the bad things.
Also in school i just know i don’t try hard enough i can but i just don’t want to anymore i feel like everything is useless and i just don’t have motivation to try at all …but i still want to do good but i know that if i want to do good i have to try but still i don’t. My mom and all my family tell me that i can talk to them any time and tell them anything and not to keep things to myself but i just don’t want to share my feelings i usually cry myself to sleep every night and recently i had a boyfriend and he just said it wont work so i pretended that i didn’t care but i did hen after a couple of days he texted me saying i love you but i thought hes joking because it was April fools day i just said haha i know what day it is and he got a bit mad and said fine then laugh bye … and then we kind of started talking again but it wasn’t anything good and basically i told him he should just go get another girl and that im not gonna bother him he has already enough problems he said alright so like 2 days later i see him with my friend and another friend (their both girls) and i just lost it i felt sick to my stomach but my friends cheered me up and said i could do better and not worth crying over him but still when i go home im alone in my room i just cry over everything and think about stuff and then today also i went to the same place with my friends as we were the other day and he came with my 2 friends from the day before the girls just sat there watching him as he played football but he had told me that he stopped playing ages ago … my friends said hes probably trying to make me jealous and it is working and now i just want to end everything im so done with all the problems i hate feeling this way i could go on and on about my problems this is just a part of them but still i am very scared to end my life its a scary thought but i would really want to do it and also im scared if it wouldn’t work and i would be alive and what would my parents think of me ? i just felt maybe if i do talk to someone it might help but i didn’t want to talk about any of this to people that i know
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
2 comments
You really have a lot going on Sammi. Your parents splitting up sucks, but that’s they’re problem not yours. Just try to ignore their rants the best you can. Boyfriend troubles suck too. My wife is divorcing me after 24 years of marriage and I’m devastated. You scare me when you talk about suicide. I have a 17 year old and I would be crushed if he took his life. I bet your parents would be too. I personally have felt suicidal most of my life and have attempted it twice. You’re absolutely right when you say that there’s a lot of things that can go wrong during a suicide attempt. So don’t try it, ok? Maybe if you don’t feel comfortable talking to your parents about how you’re feeling, you could try talking to a counselor. Would you be willing to do that Sammi? It can’t hurt to try and it’s a lot better than killing yourself. I truly hope you feel better Sammi!
Hey sammi, sorry you’re going through this, maybe you could talk to one or both of your parents in a quiet moment and tell them how their arguing is upsetting you. I bet they’re wrapped up in their own stuff and don’t realise how the fallout affects you. If not your parents then maybe a relative? As for that guy, if he’s gonna play games then he’s not worth your time. But hang in there, you’re not alone… is there a friend or some you can talk to? You don’t have to tell everything, but just having someone there is enough…