sorry to post again put I’m too unstable I was fine the part of that wanted to left . But he went vacation because it’s back and I am not OK . The only thing I want to do is miraculously drop dead or cut myself honestly . I don’t know why I want to do that, but I have so much heaviness in my chest right now .that maybe if I cut it might let some of this black greasy feeling out. It feels like I’m in Mourning like someone die that’s how sad and hopeless I feel. I don’t know what to […]
Tag:
left alone
Why can’t I be left alone why I cant be just left alone . I am once again being tortured by every one my mother my father my in laws im tired… Im telling my self not to cry … Every wants to control my life …..my husband dosent want to go home because of my parents …I just cant be left alone cant tell them I wanna go to utah becuse there gonna flip why why why . cant cry stop it . I dont know what to doo so lost ….cant even get a chance to fix my life …..Im not a big […]
My epic began in the very early hours of Tuesday, January 20th, 2015. My best friend of thirteen years made it 43 minutes into the twentieth day of January before she committed suicide. Journeying back a few months, she and I had a falling out due to her girlfriend. In short, her girlfriend would text me through her phone and convinced me not to be friends anymore. Through that year, I lost every other friend I had. I was dating a guy at the time for over two years but that fell apart. In the end, he told me her death was my fault and […]
I’m sick of being alone. I have no one who I can trust. No one understands what’s going happening. They don’t understand the Angels. They don’t understand that they need me. I need to see my doctor. I need him to tell me what to do. I’m alone and I’m scared.
I don’t even know why I’m writing on here. I suppose it’s to distract myself. Maybe. I’ve been left alone downstairs. The figures keep moving in the doorway, and it’s annoying me. I’m was trying to distract myself with a film – but they’re distracting me from the film.
I can feel myself starting to […]
Hey folks, it’s everybody’s favorite depressed, semi suicidal dickhead
by thelost
written by thelost
I’ve not been the greatest lately, and I haven’t paid nearly enough attention to all you wonderful people on this site. I don’t recognize half of your names, makes me feel old. Nonetheless, this site is for the suicidal, and I guess I can be counted among their number. I want to die, hell, not a day goes by that I don’t want to stick a gun in my mouth and paint the walls around me red. Thing is, I can’t do that. There are people out there that would die if I committed suicide, and I can’t let that happen. I don’t give a […]
I was just delt a bad hand where everything is a struggle for me. I just don’t see the good in life. I trained myself cognitive behaviors and programmed myself to continue to thrive to be productive against my own negative thinking. I have excelled in going outside my box but It’s so exhausting and Im still not happy. Still not any further than I was. There’s nothing wrong with me hating life as long as I’m productive in society. That’s what all the doctors preach right? I’m done pretending, I’m done putting up a fake face. I just want to be in a room […]
I know there’s nothing you can do, but I can’t be left alone, my mind is set on self distruct and I’m slowly hindering my body, constant hope constant fall when will she learn, never I supose, will there be an end were I just give up and surrender, or let go of my controls cause I always black out I always choose the wrong answer I just want to know I just want to belive in myself. Today I already made a mistake but I’ll try again. Hopefully this try will finally be Ill do.
I was born august 17 1997. Im 18 now and i have been brutuly depressed since i was 9. I was in the group home since i was 9 and got out 4 years ago cuz i couldnt stand being so depressed. I was left alone and have been alone for a very long time. My family has abandoned me and i cant stand this feeling of beeing lonely. I have hallusonations and visions and sleep paralysis. I have been homeless for 3 years. Im dead broke and i only smoke weed and drink not often. Im so stuck. I want to die but i […]
I have what seems like a perfect life, but i want out. I have a wonderful caring boyfriend that spoils me with love and affection but it isn’t enough and never will be because i do not love myself. When I look in the mirror all I see is failure. I don’t have a job, can’t keep a job or go back to school.. My social anxiety is a serious problem and the depression isn’t helping either. Living with memories of abuse i suffered as a child really gets to me and my thoughts are uncontrollable, it’s like it just keeps repeating over and over […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Have you ever been so sick that you couldn’t be around the people you love?
Have you ever been so sick that lifting your head up off the pillow takes everything you have?
Have you ever been so sick that every moment away from someone sends you spiraling back to that place you were at when her father took his life?
Have you ever been in a relationship with a man that took on his role but doesn’t want to hear you talk about these things?
Have you ever had no one, literally, to talk to?
All your friends are gone.
Your parents think you should be over it.
He doesn’t want […]
I call this day one because this is the first day I haven’t cried in a really long time. I’ve come to believe the fact that Jordan will not come back to me. That who ever wrote the quote, if you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it was always yours. And if it doesn’t, it never was; never dated a stubborn, prideful, Army Ranger.
I can admit I fucked up. I completely screwed up our dreams of marriage, happiness and children. I can say, I never cheated, never thought about it and never wanted anything more in my life than […]
Please, please read. Fuck your opinions. I love you.(Bipolar?)
by FeelingFunny
written by FeelingFunny
Never been so low, didnt know. That I could fall so far covered in scars. Caused by the drugs I use, I abuse. Shit. It wasnt written in the stars its the life I choose. Whats it to you? If I hurt myself, nobody else, self destruct. Fuck health. Aint no one got time for that…So, Ima grab another sack. Lay back and pray I never wake up. Cause I cant get my cake up, while starin in the face of, this dark hearted demon, i just feel like leaving, everything ive known everytime that Im fiendin. No sleepin no eatin, barely even human. Constant […]
It’s been a while since I last logged in here. A long while. A few years. I don’t know what made me think of it now but I remembered it and how at the time, writing helped.
The depression is back. It never really left I guess, but after I was put on meds I was on those for about two years and became a semi functional member of society. Then I was taken back off them, and I had gotten myself to an okay place and kept trundling on living day by day doing anything to put a bit of sunshine into life. But it’s […]
I can feel it in my palms, the way they sweat more than usual. Like when I’m anxious (always) they get a little clammy. But these past few weeks I’ve had this feeling. That strange feeling , its even difficult for me to comprehend. & I feel it in my gut everyday. Ya’ know, most people tell me “don’t do it, you’re selfish if you do.” “you’d kill yourself over a person who killed themselves? that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” But the truth is, it’s not the dumbest thing a person has heard. Especially if that person was now left alone, due to […]
I am the victim of suicide. The one who is alive and is going to be in pain for the rest of my life. The mother of an 8 month old child, to whom I will have to someday explain, why dads gone. And it will have to be one hell of a story. I am the one left with all the mess. I am the one that wandered here looking for answers. I am the victim. Before a couple of days i havent heard of N powder. I am the one who has been lied to. I am the one that loved very much. […]
I have suffered with depression and suicidal feelings for as long as I can remember, but something has always held me back when it comes to ending my life.
I have made several attempts, but have failed so far.
I can’t be bothered to write about what has happened to me, because I have tried every form of therapy there is and it doesn’t work and I have never really felt any other way.
I’m just fed up with the lack of understanding, the patronising advice given by therapists and family and the accusations of self-pity or attention seeking with regards to suicide.
I don’t feel sorry for myself, […]
I’m so tired of pretending to be someone I’m not. Everyone thinks im “The life of the party” and that im bubbly and happy. But i hate going out, i don’t like being around people, I’d be perfectly okay with being left alone to lay in bed, go to sleep and never wake up again. I’ve had my ups and downs, but i can’t pick myself up. It’s getting hard to fake the smile and I think my friends are starting to notice, I don’t want them to notice that I’m unhappy, I don’t want them to think that they have to help. I’m not […]
Howdy, ya’ll.
I’ve been reading on the site and commenting every now and again, but I’ve never posted. I’ve been struggling with suicidal thoughts for a while. They stem from a complete lack of meaning in my life. To be honest, things have been going relatively well, I just find no joy in much of anything anymore.
I attempted suicide earlier this year, but was brought to the hospital before anything too serious happened. What shook me the most was that I had no realization, no epiphany, like one often reads of. Instead, I’ve fallen further. What drove me to the edge were the psych meds I was […]
Newer Posts