I made a terrible mistake in life. It’s affected me tremendously over the past 2 years. I am ashamed of my past situation, embarrassed with the present, and fearful of the future.
7 years ago, I accepted a job with the federal government. The organization I worked for has a bad reputation with the public. Everyday you can find examples of governmental malfeasances that happen in the news.
The agency that I worked for was TSA. I am so deeply ashamed of myself for working there, because of the bad reputation with the public. Myself and others who have worked their have been verbally and psychologically abused by our bosses over the years. We were treated like dirt, the lowest of low.
I quit this job 4.5 months ago (without having another job lined up) and took some time off just to get away from it. Leaving that place was the best thing that I’ve ever done.
Now I fear that no one will ever want to hire me again after working for TSA. My family and friends say this is not true. I am so ashamed of myself for working at TSA that suicide might be the only available option in the long run
Do you know what it’s like to be so ashamed of yourself for (1) working for an employer with a bad reputation (2) enduring years of psychological abuse that counseling can’t help with??? (3) Sometimes it seems as though you can’t go on with your life??? Even when you truly want to make a new start.
I have thought about suicide over the last year, and am considering this option in the near future. The shame and embarrassment has become overbearing. My family would be better off if I were dead.