I know it shouldn’t matter, but seeing people around me happy, fulfilled, able to handle their finances, their relationships, their lives, it just makes me feel even worse.
I had been feeling better earlier in the year, but seeing other’s succeeding while I continue to fail has sent my back down. I had to delete my Facebook, because it only depressed me.
I have lost everyone that ever mattered to me (save for a few family members and a friend in another state). It is abundantly that others who I thought I was important to don’t care about me or need me at all.
I have long ago given up trying to stay in touch with people. If someone contacted me, I would not ignore them. I just cannot even remember the last time someone contacted me without a word from me first. I stopped being the one making all the moves, because I realized it was pathetic, needy, and made me miserable.
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I totally understand. im living that. I get so tired being the initiator , I get paranoid being as needy which I am =(
know the feeling about deleting facebook, i deleted all of the social media i had. i get so excited when someone actually decides to text me first and it ends up being about 3 texts back and forth and then the convo basically ends there. theres about one person i consider a good friend anymore and i feel like i just bug the shit outta them too.
Ugh, screw facebook.
And good for you! But I’m sorry it makes you feel lonely. There is a balance between being needy and ‘making the moves’ I hope you find it. I still don’t have it down.
Depending on who you keep in your contacts, FB won’t be a cesspool of showoffs/posers. The status updates I see are exclusively from beloved friends and naturally I’m jubilant along with them.
A long time ago, I used to feel the same way you do now. Whenever you see other people who are happy and lead seemingly more fulfilling lives, you shouldn’t become discouraged or embittered but rather, observe them unabashedly and let it motivate you to get to that spot yourself — usually starting with self-acceptance… *sigh* Does anyone understand what the heck I’m trying to say?
Heh, I’d jeer myself off the “inspirational speaker stage”. :] FWIW I’m sending good vibes to you, Brokenpottery.
I understand completely. The only time people reached out to me in the last 2 years (my so called friends) was when they needed something, and when that was done i was back to non existant mode. Not that it was much different before, but it just became more obvious to me.
I ended up deleting facebook and everything media related too, for that, and for some of the same reasons you mention. Keep in mind tho, social media reflects what people wants you to believe is their life, so most of it is pretty much them lying their guts out to some degree just to “look good” or happy to others. Good thing that you still keep available to people instead of shutting everyone out tho, you never know when a like-minded individual could appear in your life.
I know how that feels. I often sit on Skype waiting for someone to say hi at least, and I usually wait in vain. Most of the time I have start up a conversation and I feel like a pest or something for doing so.