I know it shouldn’t matter, but seeing people around me happy, fulfilled, able to handle their finances, their relationships, their lives, it just makes me feel even worse.
I had been feeling better earlier in the year, but seeing other’s succeeding while I continue to fail has sent my back down. I had to delete my Facebook, because it only depressed me.
I have lost everyone that ever mattered to me (save for a few family members and a friend in another state). It is abundantly that others who I thought I was important to don’t care about me or need me at all.
I have long ago given up trying to stay in touch with people. If someone contacted me, I would not ignore them. I just cannot even remember the last time someone contacted me without a word from me first. I stopped being the one making all the moves, because I realized it was pathetic, needy, and made me miserable.