I’m such a fucking waste of space. How could anyone love a girl who can’t even love herself? Who cares about a girl who scars her own skin? There’s no pretty way to tell you I want to die. I just want to feel something other than hate and emptiness. I dream about taking a bottle of pills, slitting my wrists, but part of me wants it to be an accident, so I don’t seem like the coward I am. If a car hit me, it would be a blessing. A few years ago, I would of told you that I felt beautiful, strong, popular. Now all I feel is emptiness. Empty. Empty. Empty.
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I had a semi hit me because I wanted to go and that didn’t even work not even a broken bone.
But anyways find out why you feel empty and fill it with something…I have rage and I use that to my advantage and work out, it’s something new to me but it helps a lot. if you don’t mind me asking. What made you go from being beautiful strong and popular to empty?
I had a lot of people check out of my life, and I began to develop social anxiety. I would be too anxious to hang out in groups and I would panic when I had to talk to people I didn’t know. My friends began to not invite me to things and then rub it in my face how much fun they all had together, and I began to feel worthless, which then developed into depression.
You are not alone. So many people hate themselves (me too) but they are lovable. Behind all the pain and suffering is a wonderful person. A person who deserves to be happy, supported, loved. I’m sorry you feel so empty. That is hard to face life that way. Know that you are strong- you couldn’t have come this far if you weren’t.
I know that doesn’t seem hopeful at times. But it is true.
Discover new things you like, discover who that girl is beneath all the pain. She is there.