I had planned to kill myself last night. I have actually decided to fight.
I think this change has a lot to do with posting to this board. I don’t know why. But posting my story (mostly putting words to my feelings) and seeing other people’s stories (and knowing that others feel how I feel) has made me look at my depression and suicidal thoughts differently. I began to see all my problems with life as a result of my depression rather than being than my problems with life causing my depression. I have decided to seek help (Making an appointment with my doctor tomorrow) and have actually made up with my best friend (after realizing that my anger at him was probably a result of my depression)
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So yeah, Thanks guys 🙂
I’m kind of new to this site but regardless I’m glad you found the strength to fight! I wish every ounce of hope, luck and love to you for the future to carry on as you are and get through this! You are never alone, don’t forget that, even I, who I don’t believe has made your acquaintance as of yet, am always here to support you should you need it 🙂 all the best!
<3
When I finally realized I needed help and went to my doctor, I was amazed. I found help, support, care. People who said “call me anytime if you are feeling like self harming”. I had never had that kind of love and support from family. Then I started therapy and found even more support and someone who told me that I wasn’t crazy! I strongly encourage you to keep pursuing this course of help. I know sometimes its hard to pick up the phone to make appointments or to keep them, but keep trying.