I’m glad to have found this site. I stumbled upon this place when I was googling a correlation between intelligence and suicide. Ever since I was a child I loved filling my head with all sorts of information, even when I wasn’t actively interested in something I had a little voice in my head that said: “Hey, that sounds useful! Remember it for later!” As the years went on I began to notice my self becoming more socially withdrawn and out of touch with people close to me. It took a while but eventually I reasoned that I was getting progressivley more depressed and apathetic because I was learning to understand reality for what it is: a long, cold, dark, seemingly pointless existence, and having the cogniszance to recognize and accept this fact sheds a light on just how much each individual truly matters in relation to the collective cosmos. At this point in my life I am just trying to live a life that is as fulfilling and and balanced as possible, but I’m certain that regardless of how good or bad things should get I will still maintain the same stance on the monotony of living. I have no plan of suicide, but I’m glad to have a place that I can least freely express my wish to die. Dying just seems like the light at the end of tunnel for me, a permanent release from all the hate and pain on our little rocky world. Thanks for creating a place for sharing these sorts of things.
5 comments
How old are you?
27, why?
Just wondering about how long is your depression.
It’s strange but I see myself in you, when I was younger I’d also be interested in learning new things and storing information. I think I learnt too much though.
I learnt how bad this world is, I learnt how people treat themselves and others and I learnt that there’s no point to our existence accept to keep our family and “friends” happy. Which in itself is pointless because it doesn’t affect the world around us, just individuals.
Yes, you and I see the world through the same set of lenses. Intelligence is humanity’s greatest gift, but inevitably there comes a point when the individual ego no longer matters. Once you realize that your physical body is recycled from a non-stop chemical reaction taking place within the atmosphere, and also the staggering amount of time the universe has been carrying on without us, it becomes difficult to really see any point to the individual experience.