No One

So, tonight I go to church with my girlfriend but she seemed to be to herself so I begin communicating to her god sister who made me highly frustrated. So, I speak to my girlfriends friend and so on. No physical contact with any of them, no intimate talk just laughing and having a good time. And every now and then I tried bringing my girfriend in but she just wouldnt. Later I text her god sister apologizing for being sensitive as she told me she was joking. Even later I text my girlfriend and let her know im home and ready to call her like every night but an hour passes and I ask if she is okay and she says “yep going to sleep goodnight” So I ask is she sure and i get no response. Her sister texts me and tells me my girlfriend is mad at me because I talked to her friends…. This is probably the first time I got mad at her because then her sister tells me she gets mad when i talk to other girls. Like WTF i talk to girls everywhere. and I love my girlfriend to die for but obviously she is going through something. So, I texted my girlfriend a full out apology but she never responded and now my heart hurts. I just have a Fucked up Shitty ass life. Nothing good happens to me. And if it does, its like a dream. Short and sweet and back to reality. I really am tired of feeling THIS much pain. No one should go through this. What am I alive for? a door mat. However door mats arent alive so why should I? I really feel like no one cares for me. I just cant take it anymore. Sincerly FML!