Round and round it all goes in my head. I don’t think I can live a meaningful life. And that hurts. So I think I want to end it. But that would destroy my family, and I can’t do that to them. So I’m left with this pain. Which just feels……unbearable. And I can’t think of anything that will make it stop. I would cry, but it doesn’t help.
So, this pain, for the rest of my life. It seems to get worse as I get older, and further away from a time when I had hope.
I guess the only question is how I want to carry it. I can be miserable, and angry, and bring those around me down. Or I can try me hardest to seem cheerful, while really I’m dying inside. Maybe it doesn’t make a difference, either way.
1 comment
Everything you do makes a difference. You don’t have to pretend you’re happy. You don’t have to act like everything’s perfect. You’re asking too much of yourself. You’ve carried it this far. Push a little further. You’ll get stronger and the load will get lighter. Wishing you the best.