I know it’s recommeneded to not give out your name, but honestly right now I need a friend. I need someone. Anyone. I feel hopeless, broken beyond repair. My name Is James.
I’ve tried to die multiple times now. Times where I just snapped and gave in, others where I couldn’t take the pain anymore. I couldn’t take the abuse and the bullying. It’s left me completely broken. I thought it wouldn’t get worse.. But it got much much worse..
Lately my whole life has been destroyed. I let myself love again..and It only ended in pain. I let someone get too close..told them things about me that No one knew…then the left me. They cheated on me and left me for dead. They hate my guts now.. wish death upon me.. as do her friends. And honestly, I want to.
My family, they really could care less at this point. My dads mostly drunk, my moms mostly gone, as for the little friends I have.. They don’t exactly talk to me anymore. I’m antisocial, Rarely speak to people.. Mainly I’m considered a freak.
I’ve attempted to move on. To fall in love again. But again I was cheated on. I’m honestly thinking love isn’t for me. Then again, Neither is life. I’m tired of everyone getting to know me and hating me. It hurts..
I guess this is some what of a goodbye, for those who are looking hard enough, or for those who are in my position. I do indeed want to try, Might even tonight. Because I see no hope. No light. That light dimmed and faded a long time ago and was replaced with a black pit of depression seeded in my soul. At this point the voices tell me to give up. And I honestly want to give in.
9 comments
Why do you think everybody hates you? i tend to think most people dislike me (because of the way i am) but hate is a strong word, and you really don’t sound like a “hateable” person. Maybe you surround yourself by the wrong kind of people? that might get you the “they loathe me” kind of vibe, when they really just don’t fit with your view of things. Also, i don’t think giving out a first name is bad, but a full name is a no-no.
I know pretty well how it is to trust “one more time” just to have it fail on you (with cheating added too). If there’s something i’ve noticed is that there’s always things that no matter what, you just have to keep to yourself until you’ve really met people (5+ years to a decade kind of thing), otherwise, you’re just asking to have your trust broken (most of my exgfs have cheated on me so… yeah).
I don’t know if you are going to give in or not, but if you don’t i hope things get better for you man, i know it isn’t easy to go through all that you mention.
James, I know almost nothing about you so I can’t tell you to hang on, to give it some time or whatever, but If you need someone to talk to, I’m here, ok?
Just two broken people exchanging opinions, that is all I can promise.
I have been in similar situations and I have been fighting mu demons every day, but not dead yet…for some reason. Just remember that there are a lot of us who don’t fit and get hurt whenever we try to fit in.
Man, i know how that suffocates, i got little friends too, a family who doesnt care and few ex.. Thts when i found talking to strangers are damn good choice, ‘my best friend is a stranger’ this sounds weird but thats where i find my value, in turns my only strength n motivation of holding on for sm more tho it still hurts deep down.
I honestly think u should try this, i mean, what if your future best friend is going to come to you the next day..? I sustain my hope a bit when i think of this while wanting to hurt myslf again
Strngers are good, n i mean it
I hope ure okay, and those pieces of you stick together again, hang on bruh, and if you really need a friend i dont mind chatting with you, im in such need too *sigh
ik the feeling it will get better u just have to get through the rough seas. And u will find the right one on day
The world doesn’t hate you. It’s just the scars have reminded you of darker times. Yeah, maybe your CURRENT situation blows, but there is more. Ya know what they, the grass is always greener on the side.
James, that’s the great thing about this website. You can call it a friend, if you will. It isn’t abnormal to associate something like that as a friend. I did the same for something else in the past, my “little silver friend,” actually, but anyway, enough about me.
Think about it like this. This website as a whole is a friend, and the individual users too are also friends. This website’s been around since 2004, and I don’t think it has any plans to leave. We’re here for you man.
If anyone truely wants to talk to me.. My kik is iiMusic. Although I’m not quite sure why many people care this much about a total stranger
Well 🙁 They lose. Judgemental people lose alot. I know the scene around you isn’t helping you to see this but i guess you get the point. Maybe you should try the best for yourself until one day you feel so sure that you’ll enter your realm in full force, trust yourself and never look back. If you go on there should be enough happiness in the world for you.
James…. my name is Mark. If not for anything else, I can listen. Look at my Profile for my contact. I’ve been at points of everything being lost…you’re not wrong feeling the way you do. You want to be loved. Everyone does. You’re not alone on SP…. just remember that regardless of what your next step is. I wish you nothing but the utmost peace to you.