The state of mind when the fear of living exceeds the fear of death.

Today,I spent the entire day trying to find a painless way to kill myself.They are right when they say dying is never painless.What happens to a man when he loses the reason for his survival,when he finds that is short existance in this world is nothing but a wheel of regret and failure.We each owe God a debt,the debt of death.It seems the time has come for me to pay back my debt.From ashes to ashes,from dust to dust.