What is it that makes some people worth loving or caring for or forgiving and others not? What makes some people entitled to happiness peace joy love and others not? Why do some good people find only pain and others less good find contentment? Is there no logic in this world? Is logic the answer? Is there justice? Where is the line between justice and vengence? Without such a line there can be no redemption. Is there redemption? Do people change? Is hope a real thing or just a way of framing denial of ones fate. Sorry to ramble but as i wrestle with my own pain and will to go on i also look at the bigger canvas this all plays out on. What real? Whats fair? What is right???
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According to religious people this is all part of god’s plan. One person is entirely fucked while other is wealthy, pretty, healthy and lives in a great country/city? Don’t worry, that’s part of God’s plan.
Honestly? I call it bs. Life is just unfair, it is about being lucky. Some people win the genetic lottery among other lotteries, others are so damn unlucky that they lose in pretty much all lotteries. Many people on this site are among those unlucky fellows, me included.
I wish I knew. I’m so ugly that my love hurts others, because it makes them so sick to think about. I don’t understand why looks are all that fucking matters. All my hard work, all that I give of myself, and my every last dime, loving someone so deeply as well do, it doesn’t mean shit because I’m too fucking ugly to even think of getting close to. I want to fucking die.