I’m struggling with my self confidence. I feel so ugly and I hate my body. My ex boyfriend watched porn behind my back, huge tit porn. I don’t have big boobs and It has made me hate myself so much. I wish I had big boobs, I wish someone would love me for my body
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23 comments
I am not trying to justify your boyfriend… that said, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you for you. Guys unfortunately are programmed to be visual… yes, it may be one of his fantasies with big boobs and whatnot… doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you and care for you. Port doesn’t give him love and affection. I’m going out on a limb.
Some relationships work and are okay with watching porn…. others are not. If him watching porn (not just big-boobed porn…. porn in general) then you need to talk with him about it.
Your boyfriend aside, there are lots (and I mean lots!) of guys out there that don’t like big boobs. Honest. Absolutely 100% honest….
You’re perfect just the way you are.
I personally feel it is my business. He knew that it bothered me and if you’re with someone, that should be enough. Lusting over another person or what I don’t have, isn’t fair to me. Everyone has their flaws and wants to change something on their body, that is mine. I don’t want to be a sex object I simply want someone to love my body and not want something else
Agreed…. fair enough.
We broke up but it’s ruined my confidence and I feel like nobody will accept me
Ur serious? Upset at the kind of porn he watched? That’s really none of your business. And ur obviously seeking to be a sex object yourself, if that made u hate yourself. Find someone who wants to do more than have sex. I’m guessing ur young, bc this is a young person problem. Most women have big tits bc they buy them or are fat.
Great words of advice fucked in the head , way to make someone feel awesome
If you wanna feel good, get a masage. Ur with an asshole. And ur gonna follow him like a puppy? Maybe tell the next guy ur expectations. You wanna be a fake ass person, cut up and filled with plastic parts? Or you could develop a wonderful personality. Your choice.
He is an EX boyfriend , what part of that don’t you get?? I’m trying to deal with how it’s affecting me now
And he’s moved on. Probably not giving you a second thought. 1. What a person does with their body is none of your business, no matter how you spin it. 2. Constantly reassuring someone and tending to their needs is exhausting. Try it sometime.
Do you work or go to school? These are 2 things that should outweigh how some guy makes you feel. Maybe if you had a master’s degree, how would that make you feel ?
You should be a theapist , I’d recomened you. Awesome words of wisdom. Considering we’re all on this site for a reason . I can see why you’re having issues and I don’t know one thing about you
I spent a decade begging people not to commit suicide and not hate thenselves. So yeah. Whatever…..
… an additional note is if your bf doesn’t love you *for you*… you deserve someone who loves you *for you* and not your body… love yourself first for you. … the rest can fall into place.
I viewed porn featuring the opposite gender of my romantic interest. They knew and didn’t seem to mind. It didn’t mean I wasn’t into them (because I totally was), I just like watching porn. Fantasies aren’t the same as reality. Watching it (without interacting with the porn stars themselves) doesn’t mean he’s cheating on you or that he doesn’t love you. Are you gonna say you never catch sight of an attractive stranger or celebrity, and fantasize about them (without telling them)? You know, many people have their celebrity crushes. Would you leave your boyfriend for one of those? If not, don’t be worried about his porn habits, if it’s not disrupting your sex life. He chose you and not some other girl, just like you chose him and not a guy who looks more like your celebrity dream crushes or whatever.
Edit: if you broke up with him, just remember the above next time you’re in a relationship. I guarantee that a lot of people out there will find you very attractive no matter your chest size (and the average women does *not* have a large chest), you just need to be confident about yourself FOR YOU, not for anyone else. Go for someone with whom you share a mutual attraction and chemistry. That’s what’s most important. They won’t be perfect and neither will you, but that’s the beauty of being human.
Actually watching porn and jerking off to big boobs is different then checking out someone. If it was porn that would pertain to me as in idk like rough porn, it would be a totally different story. Idk I see your point but I still feel like there must of been something wrong with me & I have 34c , I don’t see how they’re completely small but whatever
Take is from someone who used to have big boobs–they’re overrated. I don’t think you want someone to love you only for your body, do you? That’s not real love.
No, but when that’s all that guys talk about or want to look at its hard to not want them
You’re body is fine but I’m sorry to crush your hopes here but guys will be guys if you asked him to stop watching porn he should have but sometimes guys just like to handle their urges themselves I still watched porn when I was with my girlfriend because sometimes it’s just easier and faster to jerk it because when I had sex with my ex I took my time and put in work and sometimes guys just wanna pound it for a few minutes and go back to what they were doing
I didn’t read all these comments, only a few but no one should be belittling your problem. I don’t have a problem with porn personally but I completely understand how it can make you feel bad if your partner doesn’t care about your feelings about it. First of all, yes I agree he is an asshole and you are right to break up with him. But that doesn’t solve the problem about how you feel. And it doesn’t make you shallow for someone to want your body and you, that’s human. I don’t know you so I’m really not sure what advice to give you but I’ve felt bad about my body and I feel that. Anyone who says they haven’t is lying. My personal view is that bodies can be beautiful and loved however they look and maybe you need to take some time to yourself and learn to love yourself before another relationship. It’s not easy but that’s what I did and it helped so much. Also you get all kinds of weirdos online and it may not be the most constructive place to reach out. As long as you can take it with a grain of salt. Just reize that if your trying as hard as you can to be the best person you can be that’s all you can do and there are plenty of dirt bags out there but there’s also a lot of really good people. You just have to search and be strong. I really wish you the best
Go on a dating site and post your most flattering pictures. You’ll probably get lots of attention, it will cheer you up. Remember that people often have fetishes, but it doesn’t mean they don’t find other body types and facial features attractive, and I’m sure you’re the same way if you think about it. Plus, haven’t you ever seen someone who you thought was totally hot, and you’d probably sleep with them, but who you’d never date in reality because you just didn’t like their personality? We can’t help our sexual thoughts and urges, so as long as we’re not actually cheating on a p.artner, I think releasing them through porn is safe. But some guys do prefer having sex with a real person as opposed to porn, so if it really bothers you, you could try finding a man like that.
* that was in response to your reply to my earlier comment
Well i really don’t understand why others don’t get you, i can see how something like that can be very disturbing, especially if you talked to him about it and he knew that it bothers you and still didn’t care.
But him doing that and looking at others – that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you.
Also, just because it didn’t work out with him doesn’t mean no one will accept you or love you.
It shouldn’t effect your confidence. I’m sure you look beautiful just the way you are, and someone else WILL see it.
Someone who will truely love you; the way you look like, and you as a person, and won’t ever make you feel like you’re missing something.
There are many different guys out there, and you never know what they might act like.
Just because your ex and many guys you know talk about these things all the time doesn’t mean you need that to be attractive.
You don’t need to change anything about yourself to get anyone to accept you, and you have no reason to feel ugly.
there is more to life than relationships
I appreciate all the comments and outlooks on this situation. Some may not understand or think it’s small, but it’s what’s my problem and what bothers me