Life – 567,983,122……. Me – 0…. That’s how many times I’ve been kicked in the balls, it’s a rough estimate of course but I don’t think I’m off by much, just something else taken from me. Not another child or grandchild this time, another business, apparently I’m broke more than I figured and business partner and friend has been selling off equipment, and the rest is on it’s way. We never even got to get things up and running. $150,000. Worth of equipment has been sold for close to fuckin nothing, and all […]
I am under a great deal of stress at the moment. It’s finals week at school and I have my Algebra 1 exam tomorrow. This test will not only determine if I’m going to pass the class, but also place me into a ranking chart of students heading into Algebra 2. Ever since I was 11 years old, I wanted to be perfect. My dream is to go to Harvard, but I’m so stupid and ignorant that that probably won’t happen; nevertheless, I feel as if I have to get a perfect score on this test in order to determine my self worth. If I […]
It has been 3 and a half years since I came here. I was so close to death, to cutting my self, I slept so close to the razor under my pillow, I walked the deepest pits of hell.
I am a survivor.
When I look back, funnily, I don’t see darkness. I don’t see pain.
I see life. I see struggles. I see beauty.
If you hold on long enough, one day you will look back and realize the beauty of all struggles. You will see that the truest form of living is the one which is closest to death. That the brightest light is the one […]
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I need to do something.
What can I even do, I didn’t expect the consequences of my past to catch up so quickly.
The logical decision (through my perspective) would be to end my self by end of the year, but that isn’t possible due to my ridiculously high preserved morality.
OK so now that’s off the table, what the fuck am I supposed to do. GED then college?? OK where are the funds coming from? GED + Job then? I’m a fucking recluse how am I going to hold a job, history has shown I can not.
Try a new therapist? The last one I tried […]
Well I made it out alive once more, not sure how I feel about that. Actually just woke up. After more shit was thrown on my already full plate, I lost it and raged like I tend to do. So after being up for 3 days partying, rippin the scooter down the highway at 120+ enough alcohol and other things that would kill a herd of elephants, sleeping for another day. I woke up, but instead of being pissed off because I did wake like usually do, I woke up and thought of the people that I’ve met here that have showed me love […]
Well hey lovely people of suicide Project. I haven’t been here in awhile if you have noticed if any of you know who I am.
So awhile back I made a post about I Dye my hair. Its my self distraction from self harm. People seemed to like that so I think I’m going to make a journal hopefully everyday or maybe a cpl days or once a week in not sure yet. But I’m here for all of you. I wont judge because everyone needs a friend and you shouldn’t feel alone. So if I make a journal for you guys it’ll be self distractions […]
So I’m a freshmen in a collage prep high school. I’ve suffered from depression since 6th or 7th grade. I have really bad anxiety and I’m extremely self conscious. IVe just been under a lot of stress and stuff and been thinking about self-harm and suicide. I think both are terrible things and I would never put my family through it but yet almost everyday I’ve been thinking of ways to kill my self. I know I haven’t got the guts to do it but I can’t stop my self from thinking about it. Nobody knows I suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts and I’m […]
Why am I with people I hate .
Why Am i in a town with no prosperity?
Why am I killing my self for the selfish people?
Staying with a husband….no a llittle boy who is just as selfish.
I am alone
Why did I do this? Why am i here?
Why? can’t I stop crying
Im so sad, so miserable.
I wake up crying ,I go to sleep crying ..
I want to go home there is nothing for me here or go anywhere with these people …I think I should end every thing
Hey guys .. I haven’t been on since January or the beginning of February . I’ve been so busy with my job .
Let’s just say my life has dramatically changed in the past few months . I got a new job and have been making good money , and met a whole new set of friends . I never thought my life could change so quickly . I was doing really well but I feel like I’ve been slipping off into my depressed state again. But it’s not as bad as before.
I realized a lot about my self over the past few months . I’ve […]
My bf got out of hospital se had 2 good days i hope he stays better i been looking for job and stressed out cuz no one call me bk n i have to pay creditors bk im stress of this i hope all you are having a good thursday get a nice icecream u love today u deserve a treat i got my self recess cookie icecream
You know I can’t do this on my own Who will fix me now ? Dive in when I’m down save me from my self don’t let me drown
Living life in the fast watching myself from a distance
can’t tell the difference between what’s reality and my fantasy
Drifting floating sinking drowning
I don’t understand but it’s hard to breathe were im standing
a few cuts can turn a dark world colourful pain release trying to kill the thing inside
I don’t knew the difference between myself and my demons
disconnected from life plug me in like the matrix
red or blue pill il have em both swollow hoping Il choke
Man in the mirror who am I I’m watching my self from a distance have we ever been connected two different people in one body
come to think about it my lifes been a mess from the start from around 8 all iv knew is pain and suffering and reality it hard to bare I now understand why I used to drink and smoke weed everyday been sober for 3 years reality is hard mentally there a lot going on that I cant cope with it all my whole lifes been a dream I could see my self from a distance but can’t stop my self
Im so lost so broken Im trying with every fiber in my body to keep it together. but when I get myself in room alone I can’t function. I want to die soooo bad , I want it l to end . my husband seen me in ball of mess in the closet. He said “don”t worried I’ll take to get makeup later , so stop crying ” I said I dont care About the make up it sucks but whatever . I want to die i thought. Then he asked wich killed me to hear but felt numb inside. Are you unhappy with […]
A lot of people are really having a tough time right now and I’m one of them
i can’t seems to get my head around why people get depressed? have I always been depressed subconsciously at one point my life was ok I guess then depression kicked in and it’s just escalated from there really I mean I self harmed since a kid not cutting scratching my self hitting then as I got older cutting came about
why do people get depressed some people can have everything live nice have money etc and still get depressed isit something in the water government trying to depopulate the earth […]
Hello everyone, new to this. Never written in a forum, except for the SW forum on Reddit last week. Basically Im in deep shit due to my denial and stubbornness. I am way too disappointed in my self to forgive myself. I have hurt myself and in the process people that have cared for me.
I just feel I have reached my patience with myself, feel like I cant do it anymore. I cant commit suicide because that would actually mean giving my family the last fuck you. Least I can do is be here for when the shit unravels, and try to take it like […]
i wonder how much more can a fragile mind take before it cracks and you become a sociopath/psychopath
like fuck me im on my way there depressed suicidal anxious insomnia depersonalisation borderline personality disorder self harming If I run around cutting my self thats pretty much ok but if I do it to another person I’m a psychopath right ? Haha I think I need to be put away in a padded room with one of them hug yourself jackets til they can give us brain transplants or we wire this 1 cause it’s pretty message up
god dishing out any miracles ?
My prays go unanswered I’m […]
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I don’t know if this site is helping don’t get me wrong I like it here I no I should have killed my self last year iv just pro longed my pain and suffering really but is the site just pro longing the Inevitable ? I think that the more I talk about dying and suicide but not acting on it is a bit silly if you know what I mean can anyone relate to what I mean ?
I’m slowly eating my self fat again fuck my life I just come to terms with that I got a eating disorder now I’m binge eating and I can’t stop it’s just one thing after the other please kill me now I can’t take this shit no more
its that fucking void inside that fucking void always needs to be filled with something anything to fill it what a that fucking void it’s a empty space deep inside me but I don’t no what it is but I do no it dose what ever it takes to be filled u really do hate myself