…or at least that’s how I think I feel
I’m so worn down and tired all the time now. I’m not usually one to commit to displaying how bad I feel but recently I just had at It on social media (Instagram, snapchat, etc) Eventually people took notice and started worrying.
My boss called me in for a chat recently to see if I was alright. She looked at me funny when I couldn’t give her a reason as to why I feel so horribly bad. People who don’t actually suffer depression don’t seem to understand that it’s not necessarily a combination of negative things that make you depressed, it’s just there. It lingers there deep inside you, almost like a cancerous growth that can’t be removed. And I’m sick of people telling me I have no reason to be sad. I fucking know that. My life is not bad but there’s just something hidden inside me that leaves me cold and broken. I just want keep drinking now. I’m not really a heavy drinker but I find its all I want to do. There’s something comforting about that small pain I feel in my chest when I drink.
Impaired and destructive
That’s how I feel
Always
5 comments
have you taken antidepressants for your depression?
Have you tried therapy? sometimes some issues are just hidden there without us noticing. The fact that you feel the need to drink it away and “destroy” yourself is a pretty big hint that there’s something there.
I get like that too, but I do have a reason to be depressed. I take a supplement called Rhodiola and also some antistress pills. I know you’re not complaining about stress, but these sups do make me happier when I am on them. Thought I should share. Also, drinking is the opposite of what you should be doing. It will only make it worse. PS… God can help, just have to lay it out on the floor with him and allow him to do his thing. He may not do it the way you would want him to, but he will fix things. Just don’t allow doubt to fill your head.
That would be a no to all 3 questions posted by above users.
Friends who I express my feelings to have recommended therapy and all that. There’s nothing wrong with it, I think I’m just scared of it all becoming so official.
Generally I am hopeful but people can only take things for so long. Like I said, I just fee so worn down lately. Exhausted. And it’s not that I wanna destroy myself with alcohol, I know that it only fuels how I feel so it’s no good.
I just wish I didn’t need something to make me feel better
I’m the same, I don’t have any real reason to be depressed I just am. It has been there for a long time, on & off. I recently attempted suicide & failed, my work found out & now I feel so silly because they think it was just over a relationship breakup but it wasn’t, it was so much more than that yet I can’t really give any tangible reasons. I think you need to try meds & talking to a professional. They r understanding & don’t judge. If you are feeling this way it is serious, not trivial & you should seek help 🙂