Vedura, I was thinking about my first days on this forum in 2013 and I thought about you and your kindness… You were one of the first people to ever help me here. Idk if I ever had the chance to tell you this, but thank you so much.
Thank you for telling me. It means a lot, as if all the pain I’ve endured has a positive side, being able to care, understand and love others. Please check out a novel on Amazon when you have the chance and let me know what you think of it–Karma’s Little Helper. It’s about a suicidal girl but has romance and magic and fun sex, takes place during the 60s and means a lot to me.
Thank you again. I care deeply about others with suicidal pain, because I know that pain.
Thank you again. I am sure that I’m not the only person here that truly felt your kindness and was helped by you. I’m going to look for it when I get a chance, I’m in need of new literature!
I wish there was an afterlife but one where I have nothing but peace and can create my own paradise, not one where you serve your lord and dictator Jesus Christ for eternity. Unfortunately, all of that is a pipe dream. As far as I’m concerned, when your dead, that’s it, lights out. How can human life have value when we are going to die anyway? I wanna speed up the process, just trying to figure out how and when.m
It would be great if the Lord was cool enough to drink beer and play cards with or something rather than be a DICKtator and want eternal worship. … wanting to be worshipped… now there’s a page out of megalomania.
If there was a heaven, my heaven would not be filled with people or relatives (didn’t have any that were close). My “heaven” would be filled with perplexing abstract things to keep my mind busy.
It’s interesting that the general image of heaven is the reunion of people long-lost… a stereotype, I know. Not everyone wants that.
Eternal life… the thought is both daunting and sickening…. thousands, millions of years, trillions+…. infinity…. that’s what eternal means. That’s a long time. Pretty sure boredom sets in after a while…. I’m good with eternal darkness. It’ll be quiet at least.
I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately about NDEs (near death experiences). While it’s hard to separate what’s real from the hype (& the fakers), there are just so many reports that it’s starting to look like death is not the end, merely a transition to another mode of existence (or even a return to what/where we were before being born into this world).
That’s not necessarily a good thing. It makes me feel more trapped than anything. I would like to stop this f’ing merry-go-round and get off, but that doesn’t appear to be an option. Most of the NDEs resulting from suicide attempts reported that they were “advised” that they had made a big mistake and were returned to finish their lives. (If they didn’t return, they would have to experience the pain they caused others by their acts. And they would likely even be reincarnated at some point to have relive all of the experiences that had led them to attempt suicide in the first place!)
So I’m trapped in a meaningless existence, a waste of space and natural resources. Darned if I do, and darned if I don’t.
11 comments
I hear you. Years ago, when I tried to kill myself, I asked for annihilation.
If there is something after, I hope it’s a better place than this for both of us.
Vedura, I was thinking about my first days on this forum in 2013 and I thought about you and your kindness… You were one of the first people to ever help me here. Idk if I ever had the chance to tell you this, but thank you so much.
Thank you for telling me. It means a lot, as if all the pain I’ve endured has a positive side, being able to care, understand and love others. Please check out a novel on Amazon when you have the chance and let me know what you think of it–Karma’s Little Helper. It’s about a suicidal girl but has romance and magic and fun sex, takes place during the 60s and means a lot to me.
Thank you again. I care deeply about others with suicidal pain, because I know that pain.
Thank you again. I am sure that I’m not the only person here that truly felt your kindness and was helped by you. I’m going to look for it when I get a chance, I’m in need of new literature!
I wish there was an afterlife but one where I have nothing but peace and can create my own paradise, not one where you serve your lord and dictator Jesus Christ for eternity. Unfortunately, all of that is a pipe dream. As far as I’m concerned, when your dead, that’s it, lights out. How can human life have value when we are going to die anyway? I wanna speed up the process, just trying to figure out how and when.m
It would be great if the Lord was cool enough to drink beer and play cards with or something rather than be a DICKtator and want eternal worship. … wanting to be worshipped… now there’s a page out of megalomania.
If there was a heaven, my heaven would not be filled with people or relatives (didn’t have any that were close). My “heaven” would be filled with perplexing abstract things to keep my mind busy.
It’s interesting that the general image of heaven is the reunion of people long-lost… a stereotype, I know. Not everyone wants that.
Eternal life… the thought is both daunting and sickening…. thousands, millions of years, trillions+…. infinity…. that’s what eternal means. That’s a long time. Pretty sure boredom sets in after a while…. I’m good with eternal darkness. It’ll be quiet at least.
Can’t we just turn into stardust? No one I care to run into again!
But what if u were reborn into something else a new life may even be a happier life would u still not want it ?
Probably not.
I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately about NDEs (near death experiences). While it’s hard to separate what’s real from the hype (& the fakers), there are just so many reports that it’s starting to look like death is not the end, merely a transition to another mode of existence (or even a return to what/where we were before being born into this world).
That’s not necessarily a good thing. It makes me feel more trapped than anything. I would like to stop this f’ing merry-go-round and get off, but that doesn’t appear to be an option. Most of the NDEs resulting from suicide attempts reported that they were “advised” that they had made a big mistake and were returned to finish their lives. (If they didn’t return, they would have to experience the pain they caused others by their acts. And they would likely even be reincarnated at some point to have relive all of the experiences that had led them to attempt suicide in the first place!)
So I’m trapped in a meaningless existence, a waste of space and natural resources. Darned if I do, and darned if I don’t.