Stuck in a limbo

I’d say that’s pretty normal even if it’s a mind fuck, and you can use it for your advantage. I mean, if you want to do something but you don’t feel motivated, that might lead you to be more selective about what you really want to do (instead of doing whatever). Not that much of a difference between love and hate, so that kinda makes sense too. As for contradiction… look around you, it’s everywhere, in the end only you can choose what to do with it tho, and at some point (almost always) the balance ends up tipping to one side.