I don’t know what to do anymore… I’ve been suffering from clinical depression for about two and a half years now, and nothing that i have ever tried has ever been able to help. The incessant feelings of pure worthlessness, self-hatred, and pure relentless sadness are becoming very overwhelming at this point in time and I don’t foresee it getting any better anytime soon. I’m just sad, all the time… and its so bad sometimes that I just find myself crying for hours, and i am tired of it… tired of all of it… I feel like a burden and a problem to everyone around me and I feel as if they would just be better off if I no longer existed. To be totally honest, I have contemplated and attempted suicide on many occasions, and failed… and it seems im stuck between suffering while keeping the people I love happy by being alive, and finally being free of it all, but knowing that I will be causing just as much sadness for them to deal with… of course I wont know this if I’m dead, but the guilt would last until my final moments… and I’m so confused and sad… i have no clue what to do at this point. I just feel like I cannot do this anymore. I don’t know if anyone else has ever felt similar… but I suppose it would be comforting to talk to someone who has gone through a similar situation. As I have really lost all hope and kind of given up at this point.
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Hey, I have a very similar experience of life, may I ask how old you are and if you are on any medications at the moment? Personally I’m taking sertraline and while I still feel a lot of sadness it’s given me the strength to study a degree in civil engineering. I’d like to hear about your situation and what you’re feeling if you’re willing to share 🙂
I’m willing to share, yes.. and I thank you for your kindness first-off, Limbo94, as it was rather difficult for me to actually share what I was feeling, and the fact that you have taken time to start a conversation with a total stranger is uplifting in it’s-self. I’m a 17 year old Male, not taking any medications at the moment. my situation is rather estranged at the moment as a lot of things are going on in my life, and the ongoing feelings of sadness isnt much of a help at the moment. I suppose what I feel at the moment is just pure self-hatred and a feeling of being dead inside, like I have no point in being alive, As I am constantly sad… it leads me to feel like I just shouldn’t exist, that I am just worthless. again, you have my thanks
Nice to hear from you:) I’m 20 myself, also male, honestly being 17 was one of the toughest moments in my life, I didn’t like the overall feeling of the school, one of my classmates later hanged himself during the end of school. To give me more insight of your life, you mind telling me where you’re from? I myself am from Sweden (if you see any discrepancies in my text, that’s why 🙂 ). I know schools can be very different between countries.
Ahh! Sweden, a lovely country! One of my best mates was Swedish. I am originally from England, and I moved to America when I was 10 years of age, so that could be a thing… but I’m really not sure :/ The schools here do vary quite differently from the ones back in the UK, and I imagine in Sweden as well. it was quite the transition to be honest. And I know that feeling, one of the classmates I knew in my freshman year in high school here shot herself… very sad to say the least,
Sorry to hear that (the shooting). The point I want to get to is that you seem really bright and I really believe you can make a difference in the world if you hold out a bit longer. I know that’s not an easy task. My advice is that you seek actual help, maybe from a school counselor or a psychologist, I did it in secret at your age, my parents later found out and were actually quite understanding in the end. The reason I’m giving you this advice is because that in my personal experience, help from strangers might help in the moment but if you want some kind of consistent help you’ll need to find someone willing to help you in person.
That said, of course you can talk to me, I just might fall asleep (the time difference). 3 am right now 🙂
I know how terrible you feel… And I’m sorry.
your situation and what your describing are extremely close to what i am going through…
i dont really have any advice as i dont know personally you, but rest assured that at least one other person is feeling like you right now and it is NOT just you. im new to the site and there are lots of people in similar situations just off the bat as you scroll through.
your 17 though, and for the sake of your age dude, your so young (not saying that makes your suffering any easier obviously) but i would say try to hold on for dear life and dont end things right away. best wishes to you
By suffering, you can become stronger and help others.
Hey Darkenergy! I think if you ask older people (not even all that much older) if being 17 was easy, most of them would probably answer, “HELL NO!” Adolescence, the late teens, and even the 20s are well known for being difficult. In retrospect, some people say they were the ‘best’ times of their lives (I’m thinking because of the decreased personal and familial responsibilities) but realistically, it is a time when things start to get confusing and we struggle to find our place in the world. Even people around you that might seem to have it all ‘figured out’ are going to encounter periods of doubt (if they don’t already have some doubt in the more private, deeper recesses of themselves). I know that at times it can just seem like there isn’t one good thing going on in your life, but trying to be objective, is there anything in your life in particular that triggers or further exacerbates these feelings that you have? If so, what are they? Are they avoidable?
You’re in a good place. I read your posts to @Limbo94… teenage years can be very tough indeed. At age 17 there can be a lot going on and it can be tough to make sense of it all. I live in Canada and have a rudimentary understanding of how the school system works in the United Kingdom. Making such a change would have been definitely difficult! I can only imagine. But as @Limbo94 pointed out, there’s much that you can accomplish… you come across as having sense which can be hard to come by these days.
Depending on your thoughts toward medications, you may want to try nonprescription options first. There are some herbal remedies available and can be found by doing a simple search online… St. John’s Wart comes to my mind first… there’s others… I won’t go i.to more detail but I encourage you to do more research if you haven’t already. It is a good idea to speak with someone too if you haven’t already…. a school counsellor, priest (if you’re religious) , your parents, friends, etc. When/if you try these things and nothing helps it may be time to see a healthcare professional.
Age 17 you’re coming into your own. Hang on… there’s a really good chance things will get better for you.