Angry

I’m so angry. I get so angry that my hands shake and that i forget to breathe. I’m angry because I can’t change anything. Being angry makes me angry. Having to see her face infuriates me beyond belief. I’m angry because I still have 2 more years of this stupid shit to deal with. 2 more years until I can leave and never look back. The thing is, I wanted to look back, and see my family and see my dad and know that I had a home. Im angry because I know how how it’s gonna end. He’s gonna die and i’m never going to get a chance to fix anything, and i know i still have time but i really don’t. He’s ruined too much of my life for me to ever forgive him and I’m angry because I’m gonna let him die knowing that his only child hates him. I’m angry because it took 10 years to figure out that i had a choice. I’m angry that the hatred in my heart will never let me forgive him. I love him and he can never know that.