Tag:

gonna

It’s too much

by Amme in chaos 5/19/2016

written by Amme in chaos

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It’s just too much and I just feel sorry for myself and I want it all to end. I want to see the sun shine again. It’s been so long since I sincerely smiled. It’s been way too damn long since I felt things I could understand, since I was genuinely happy. I don’t want to be who I am. I want these thoughts to stop. They’re just too loud. I miss the times when I was actually confident and didn’t hate myself so much, the times I wasn’t so body conscious, the times I didn’t criticize every single thing I do, the times I […]

5/19/2016 3 comments

Am I Alone…?

by The Advisor 5/17/2016

written by The Advisor

I have no idea. If I live and dig deep, I don’t know what I will find, but I know it can’t get worse. I don’t even know if I’m gonna live until 8am tomorrow. I wish I did.

5/17/2016 5 comments

Frozen In Time

by The Advisor 5/15/2016

written by The Advisor

I’m gonna die in two days and I don’t know if I should be happy about it. Kite, I am but I just can’t figure out why.

5/15/2016 6 comments

warning

by retrospectivesuicidalepiphany 5/12/2016

written by retrospectivesuicidalepiphany

I’m sorry for the demon I’ve become.
You should be sorry for the angel you are not.
I wonder how its gonna be when I don’t wake up.
Some words when spoken can’t be taken back.
I’m becoming more and more comfortable with the idea.

Everything is ready. Except for my family. I don’t want any one to miss me. Not like they will anyway. If I was still jumping, this would be so much easier. Blame it on a chute failure. Pour me from my boots and into a grave.

Now the biggest enemy I face is myself. I’ve got a fairly reliable method for self-disposal. […]

5/12/2016 3 comments

force myself

by retrospectivesuicidalepiphany 5/12/2016

written by retrospectivesuicidalepiphany

Help me if you can
Its just that this
Is not the way I’m wired
So could you please
Help me to understand
Why
You’re giving in to all these
Wreckless dark desires
You’re lying to yourself again.
Suicidal imbecile.
Think about it.
You’re pounding on the fault line.
What’s it gonna take to get it through to you precious.
I’m over this.
Why do you wanna through it all away like this?
Such a mess.
Well I don’t wanna watch you

Disconnect and self destruct one bullet at time.
What’s your rush now?
Everyone will have his day to die.

5/12/2016 5 comments

Don’t cry or feel too bad. Not all martyrs see divinity.But at least you tried.

by retrospectivesuicidalepiphany 5/11/2016

written by retrospectivesuicidalepiphany

I’m gonna clean the house.
I’m gonna fix that fence.
In my final hours,
I’m gonna tie up these loose ends.
I won’t leave a note
For anyone to find.
Cause tomorrow they’ll know
Just what I’ve done tonight.

5/11/2016 2 comments

Remember when we didn’t existed ?

by Lacalamity 5/11/2016

written by Lacalamity

Man oh man I surely miss those times before I was born, felling nothing, no hunger, no thirst, no emotions and times flew bye so fast don’t you think guys ?

So yeah I really want to go back to those good days, I don’t want a paradise or hell, I don’t want to be conscious, maybe because I fear to see my family from the otherworld.

But jeez it is so tempting, the good old days, jokes on me if we live again the same life.

so yeah, loosing it soon as time goes bye and as the gun locker laughs at me.

If anyone wants to know […]

5/11/2016 6 comments

Im done

by ahannah123 5/10/2016

written by ahannah123

I can’t take this emotional spiral I feel like everyone is against me No one really cares I’ve been home for 6 day from residential I’m so done with this rollercoaster I’m getting off I’m gonna cut my brachial artery (the place you get blood drawn opposite of elbow,any tips or advice plz comment

5/10/2016 3 comments

Why I have trust issues

by Amme in chaos 5/6/2016

written by Amme in chaos

I don’t know why I keep trusting people. I just feel like people don’t care. I told a ‘friend’ of mine what was going on with me and he was going through the same thing and I thought that this time its gonna be different. I didn’t even feel awkward or angry about people invading my private and emotional side. I really don’t know why I expected something different this time. No one really cares and I think he’s just like the rest of the people. Just hangs around you when he wants and leaves you hanging when you thought you were friends.

I was smart […]

5/6/2016 3 comments

too much

by Soco 5/4/2016

written by Soco

So this is just a stupid rant so read or not. ..
Im sitting on a crowded bus with class dust and tiny fragments of glass from work stuck to my sweaty skin cos the air con is not working on this bus. Some guy has tried to jam himself onto my seat when its fucking abvious im having trouble folding my 6’4″ body into a seat made for a person who is 5′. I keep sweating and thatmmakes me more Iitchy.
I feel like everyone is staring at me. Anxiety thru the roof. 2 girls behind will not shut the fuck up!!
“Like […]

5/4/2016 3 comments

I can’t find the remote.

by noneedforaname 4/28/2016

written by noneedforaname

The Wendy Williams show is on. I can’t find the damn remote, I can’t change the channel on the frickin cable box without the damn remote. And I swear on all that is Holy that if I hear these women yell whoop-whoop one more time I just might end it. ( it gonna take a talk show to drive me over the edge ? ) screw it. I’ll be in the garage if anybody needs me.

4/28/2016 40 comments

I hung out with ppl today

by MissDysphoria 4/26/2016

written by MissDysphoria

I think it was the first time this year. My social skill definitely have taken a toll because of it.
But i’m back alone in my dark small room now. ugh this is how my whole life is gonna be. i don’t want it. ill just die now thanks.

4/26/2016 3 comments

woke up for what?

by kupo95 4/25/2016

written by kupo95

so today I woke up and wondered why should I …nothing for me to do I’m not making any money today I’m gonna cook and clean and get fuck so, I’m upset.. so when my great husband *sarcastically said * ask why I’m so upset I said do I have any reason to be happy… he said * now this was fucking rich * “try harder I’m not happy either i have no car no money you need to WORK HARDER so wipe that look off your face” I can’t even be upset when I want to how can I not be fake with […]

4/25/2016 5 comments

Good morning

by noneedforaname 4/22/2016

written by noneedforaname

Good morning all, feeling alot better today, but as you all know, that’s subject to change. Even though I’m new here I have noticed alot of love and caring, and have received it from the people on this site and I just have to say thank you, like I’ve shared with a couple of people, it helps me to vent and let all of this poison out instead of letting it build up to a boiling point like I used to when I was younger. But then to receive kind words from complete strangers who are non-judgemental and have their own problems, […]

4/22/2016 6 comments

Who’s Around Tonight?

by Wintergirl 4/21/2016

written by Wintergirl

I’m wide awake. I’d rather be asleep but I’m having horrible allergies today. Spent a lot of time outside and the trees are greening up and flowering and I’m getting crazy spring allergies. Even with medication. I spent my outside time working on one of my gardens, this year I want to have two, one just for flowers and plants, the other for vegetables, fruits and herbs. I planted two hydrangeas and moved a bunch of plants to a different area. I don’t really have that much garden space so I have to be creative. I am so alive when I work outside in the […]

4/21/2016 10 comments

Alone…

by sweetsleep 4/17/2016

written by sweetsleep

God I was hoping I wouldn’t have to get this out, but it occupies my thoughts every single day so I have to do something about it. I suffer from social anxiety, which helps me on making friends (ha sarcasm) but I really want to meet new people, and I try SO hard.When I do try to strike up a conversation people just look at me weird and laugh! I’m even nice to people but they treat me like I’m garbage, or a mat to walk all over on.Why even try! I have a few friends, but they don’t know me. They don’t know what […]

4/17/2016 8 comments

My last day

by sugarfreeheartless 4/9/2016

written by sugarfreeheartless

This Sunday is gonna be it. I can’t keep waking up in a panic and acting out of control.
I’ll be trying the exit bag with helium.
Failing that, well, I am buying a bunch of scalpels. Maybe I can just land on them? I’d have to rig them to stand up, and I’d have to land with my neck outstretched. Sounds like a big botch job waiting to happen. I don’t think I can actually handle the pain of slitting my own throat, even with some Orajel rubbed on the skin.

4/9/2016 7 comments

Im up so lets talk anybody

by kupo95 4/8/2016

written by kupo95

Just when I was on cusp of sleep when my mother in law walked in to tell us our family friend son eloped and is on the way it’s 1:20am ….. These people are from Chicago on there way to tahoe ..

Im tired and hungry and now some stange girl he eloped with is with them I hate new people especially 18 year old girls . who this girl married 17 boyvwho I take as brother now she gonna be here for awhile .just what I needed fml..Im tiered… Lets talk!!

4/8/2016 12 comments

Soo… Hi?

by Another sad student 4/5/2016

written by Another sad student

I’m a long time reader but I’ve never actually posted anything exept for like a comment somewhere. But now I’ve seen some great people here like Cordless and Drowning (seen more but I can’t remeber names) so for some reason I decided to post my story for anyone that’s interested

I think the worst part of my life is school. My horrible social life isn’t that great either but my situation at school is pretty fucking horrible. And no I’m not gonna sit here and complain about homework or some shit like that but I’m gonna be whining about the people at my school. I feel so […]

4/5/2016 8 comments

Let me tell ya about this town It destroys you LIFE

by kupo95 4/4/2016

written by kupo95

Theres a young couple with is the is my husband first cousin and my third . my husband related from our cousin mother Im from his father . the girl he married to is threating to go home cuss shes here and sooo unhappy .the boy by nature is an ass he just cursed her mother while her mom was on the phone.

She is the only one that asked when I left my husband if i was ok and my side of the story and understood .

There fighting and told her ro stop talking to her mom they were staying with me before all this […]

4/4/2016 16 comments

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