Laughter

It’s a weird thing isn’t it. For example, browsing the internet and seeing a picture that’s kinda funny, but nothing that really warrants more than a quick sharp exhale out of your nose. But you see it and laugh a little…and then keep laughing. You forgot how good it feels to laugh, the feeling of joy no matter how brief. And you keep laughing and laughing to the point where you have to bite your tongue so you stop looking weird. But it doesn’t work. You haven’t laughed in so long because of the problems in your life, but here you are, giggling like a schoolgirl. Your sibling looks over and gives you a look like you’re crazy, but you don’t care. You’re not even laughing because of the picture, you’re laughing because it feels good. But to every coin there is two sides. For me when this happened, I started crying because it felt good and it made me remember all the bad things that prevent me from laughing in the first place. Then after all the tears had flown (in the comfort of my room, I don’t need my family knowing about my mental illnesses) everything went back to normal.

I’m sorry for the randomness of this post and the depressing turn it took. If you remember my last post I’m giving the special girl in my life space because of my words I said to her in a panic attack. Now that we haven’t been talking I needed to get it off my chest and this was the first thing that came to mind. Still working on managing depression and anxiety better, so any more advice you people have would be welcomed…