I got rejected a couple of times today and getting rejected makes me have suicidal thoughts. I do not know why but that is a trigger for me. I am numbering these by importance to me. Rejection number one was from my high school’s guidance counselor. We were supposed to go to a place that holds an alternative program for schooling. It was planned last week but you know, she suddenly has a meeting and then has to go out to eat lunch. Her reasoning is understandable but our trip was planned LAST WEEK!!! So now we are going to go there next week… 🙁 I really was looking forward to going there. Then I seen my weekly counselor that is only at school twice a week because she works for Systems Unlimited, Inc. Anyway, I seen her Tuesday and again today even though I wasn’t supposed to. Then she says I am stable but that was before I found out about rejection number one, before I got tripped in the hallway and everyone around started laughing, before I had to go to a class I haven’t been in since this past Friday. My day was shitty as fuck…..
Was anybody else’s day shitty too?
4 comments
I’m not trying to nitpick or criticise in the slightest, but those aren’t rejections. Please keep that in mind when they make you feel bad – nobody meant to hurt you or turn you away. It’s important to remind yourself.
It sounds painful. I’m sorry it gave you such a bad day.
I’ve had a weird day with lots of ups and downs. I felt really edgy and anxious all day. I spent the day in bed which normally makes me much more deeply depressed. Today it didn’t, which was great, but after I had an ME/CFS crash and spent a bit of time just thinking (but not making much effort to think positively) I felt worse. I came home and now I feel awful. That feeling where you feel suicidal and so far away from the world that you hardly understand any words that come your way. I think I might be coming out of it, which doesn’t usually happen so quickly… there are positive sides to all this. But I still feel pretty terrible, and it feels like a pretty bad day.
I hope tomorrow is better for you. 🙂
That sucks. R#1 you just gotta let go of. R#2 is the worst ever. I bet you felt like you were burning with shame like the fires of Hell – Hell, Arkansas, which has some pretty bad ass fires because of all the meth labs. Did anyone try to help you up?
My day was pretty meh. Which, considering how many awful ones I’ve had lately, is doing good. Thanks for asking.
For some reason, it’s often considered funny when people trip, stumble, fall off their chair, or walk into a wall. Have you ever seen 1920’s slapstick comedy? People like Buster Keaton made a living out of being physically awkward. He even inadvertently fractured his neck during a stunt one time, and only found out years later. (If you search his name on YouTube you’ll find some amusing clips.)
I don’t think anyone was laughing at *you* particularly, it was just a reaction to the scenario. They’d laugh at anyone in the same situation.
Rejections come in any form, depending on you. You feel rejected and shut out by this world. You feel like even with all the reasonable excuses, that it’s all your fault. That the whole world is against you. But don’t let it trigger you. They rejected you, but you shouldn’t reject yourself. You shouldn’t reject your strength, your willpower to live. So whatever shitty day brings you down, remember all of that will come to an end, and you’ll start another shitty day, but maybe less shitier.