Two Years Later

Holy shit. i  never thought that i would still be alive today. Things were so bad back then.

Having your first real boyfriend, whom to this day you both still have some kind of connection, rip your heart to shreds was enough to send me back into my depression. I was very close to ending it my junior year of high school. Then i went to a new school program and met people and got into some things i shouldnt have, but it gave me a reason to stay around, temporarily.

I actually graduated High School, and shortly after that i met a guy that i can honestly say is my best friend. I have never felt so close to someone in my life. And he feels the exact same way about me! can you believe that after all those years of hating myself to the point of cutting and breaking knuckles, a guy truly loves me for my personality and doesnt point out my flaws? He didnt notice my scars, or question my constant need of reassurance that he still cares for me.

I got into a college far away from my shitty home so that i dont have to deal with my parents like ever, but i can look back now and say that even when i thought i couldnt get through something, i did. For now. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows up here. My roomates hate me with a passion  like ive never seen before, that i dont even understand. Although being in college is stressful, im glad that i found a way through all the shit the last couple years and im still alive to see how  far i can get before shit blows up in my face again.