I know, I know.. “just quit.”

Don’t even read this. It’s pointless and a waste of time. Just a lot of words. If you do read this, props to you.

So, I’ve been working on this project at work where I just go into each and every one of our client’s files in this program we have and I organize/rearrange everything so each client has the same format. Back in the summer, my boss D gave me this project. When we went over it, we both came to the conclusion it’s going to take until the end of the year, not because it’s hard, but because there’s so many clients. Plus, I’m only supposed to work on it when there’s no other work for me to do.

Anyway, I’ve been working on it a lot, and here it is, December, and there’s only a few hundred left. I should have this done before the end of the month, as planned.

My co-worker/supervisor Z is so frustrated with me doing this project, just because it’s easy, and pretty much everyday she asks what I’m doing and it’s usually this project.

Today, Z had the audacity to undermine what I’m doing. She asked what I’m working on, and I told her the project. Her response? “You know, I’m thinking you’re using this project as a handicap so you don’t have to do anything.”

Excuse me?

1. First, you don’t have any clue of what I’m even doing with this project or how long it’s supposed to take. That’s why it was only a meeting between D and me because it does not concern you whatsoever.
2. Yes, I come in at 8 every morning because I can’t wait to start working on this tedious, repetitive project.
3. Of course, this stupid project is what I paid $50,000 at college for to learn how to fucking organize words.
4. I was given this assignment, and I’m working on it. If you have an issue with me working on it, take it up with D, our boss.
5. I have all my other work done, and I was told this is what I’m supposed to do in this situation. Pardon me for following instructions.
6. I don’t see you or anyone else giving me any other “important” work, so if you’re not going to change that then stop yelling at me about it.
7. How is this not doing something? If this was considered “doing nothing” then I wouldn’t even bother coming in here.
8. If me doing this project upsets you because it’s so easy you consider it doing nothing, would you rather me do the other work I have instead, which is literally nothing. I’m sure literally sitting on my ass doing nothing would be much better.

If you didn’t read most of these responses in a sassy, sarcastic tone, then you did not read them correctly.

I almost said one or all of these to Z after she said that. It’s not the first time she’s said something like that to me. But she’s not the type of person you mouth back to. She can give it to anybody and thinks she’s super badass for it, but she certainly cannot take it. She is totally irrational and just runs off bitching and cussing and turns into a total drama queen.

I felt my eyes roll so hard after her comment that I’m surprised they didn’t snap and fall out of my face. And I could feel my voice start to uncontrollably change into a sarcastic *****. Luckily, she loves the sound of her own bitching and was talking over my sassy retort and briefly looked away when the eye roll occurred.

I never and have never almost responded that way. I mean yeah, I get upset and vent to someone later, but I’ve never tried to stand up to someone who could ruin my future in the working world. But things here have just gotten so bad and I’ve taken so much shit from her that I’m starting not to care. My filter is wearing thin. I am no longer feeling like a human even. And everyday I come here brings me one notch closer to offing myself.