Me and my sister are fraternal twins. So I mean if you have a sibling (even if you’re the same age) of course you’re going to share some things. Over the years I’ve had to share every friend group I’ve had. For the past few years I thought I finally found a friend group that I didn’t have to share. She hated all of them. Until one day she decided “Oh yeah my friends are being assholes, so while you’re in an disagreement with your best friends let me just chill with them.” Okay no, she didn’t say it like that. What she did say […]
Don’t even read this. It’s pointless and a waste of time. Just a lot of words. If you do read this, props to you.
Sorry if I ramble, or have half thoughts in here. I’m bad about jumbling things. But I just need to vent/rant.
So. I’m an accountant at a little accounting firm in my town. I’ve been working here since January and I graduated college last December, so they hired the biggest newbie, but they’re desperate for employees.
At first, I loved my job. I loved working during tax season and getting all this new real-life experience. I love doing payrolls and the sales tax. Also, I’m pretty nosy and like seeing confidential information in peoples’ personal lives (and I love being trusted to keep this information a secret). I […]
Tried to see a better way, nope it all is ouch and stink. Add all the enthusiasm for the Hunger Games, Horror shows and a breed that uses murder, force and left-for-dead budgeting for the “us-es” to get their meat, “keep life going”, generally in forced labor, see police…. What a design. Suppose Darwin is right, does this make creation sexually, morally or mentally satisfied? Intelligent Design serves money and efficiency, obsoleting humans (small buses – all abstract concepts).
To who, where or what? I got to experience the thrill of victory or just be the next prisoner or meal, darn. Oh yeah, save the family […]
Anxiety is the unwelcome guest within my mind. Nay, not a guest, but the unwelcome demon that inhabits the depths of my being, not just my mind. It captures my whole body in its icy tendrils that are mistaken for its hands, it slams loud noises and makes me jump, it causes me to sweat and shiver at the same time. My heart races faster than a horse at the Kentucky Derby finish line, causes my hands to shake more than the milkshakes that bring the boys to the yard, and forces my brain to whirl in a fashion not unlike the Tasmanian Devil from […]
This time when I cut, I regressed to cutting my left shoulder, as I was wont to do years ago. I slit superficial lines between the iron cross, making the black ink of the tattoo glisten prettily. I wish I had taken that razor and slit my goddamn throat. But I am a gutless *****, too afraid of what could happen to me if I do it. So there are 14 lines, some longer than others, some deeper than others. All easily hidden by my shirt sleeve.
HOW FUCKING DARE YOU BLAME ME FOR WHAT HAPPENED??!! The fall wasn’t my fault. “You’ve got to hold on […]
Dont let that Demon Suicide thought Zap you. I have found Talking or Asking for support helps heaps. I know its HARD trying to come out of Suicide Mode. But we Only live Once & Suicides a B*#$h
Just what the fuck do you want?! Whatever I do, or do not do, I am damned in your sight, a blight, a failure, a mistake. How would you feel if I had come home in a box? You want everyone to think you’re so loving, compassionate, dutiful but the truth is, you’re a *****. You piss everyone around you off, you have no tact, no filter, and yet whenever I imply such you say, “you’re the only one that thinks that!” LIKE HELL I AM!
I don’t care any longer what anyone says to you. After nearly 1/4 century of living with your bullshit, I’m […]
I dont know how or why im still alive. I have no use here. Im a stupid worthless piece of shit and noone cares. Im never good enough for anyone. NEVER! and i never will be. because ill always be who i am and i cant change that. but i can change whether im here or not. I dont understand how ive held on this long. Its crazy, all the crap i put up with. But then again, here i go being selfish. There are people who put up with alot more. i dont have it that bad, im just a whiny […]
While there’s a lot of other things going on in my head right now, I have to get this out. In a way I wish this really was a letter to you. You nine sided whore. but then I would have to speak to you, to look at you, and I can’t stand to even think about you. Your lies, your games, your betrayal.
The worst part is I really never saw it coming. I loved you, and you were one of my closest friends. I have known you for so long, held you through so many disasters… I really thought I knew you… But all […]
a girl i know who started dating my last boyfriend whilst we were still dating, has begun flirting with my current boyfriend. i feel like she is trying to make me kill myself. she is like going on his ask and sending him kissy faces and she stole his jacket, and urgh. she knows all the shit that i go through and she knows i self harm, and she continues to make my life hell. urgh and i feel like a nasty jealous girlfriend, and i trust him kind of but i dont know im just so pissed of, good thing im going to die […]
I really miss that happy and funny smile
that laugh that come from the bottom of your heart.. now it’s different.. it’s a.. I don’t know what it is.. but nobody notice that..
sometimes I’m tired of getting drunk to feel that extremely happiness that I used to feel every second of my life.. it was always there.. that happiness was my best friend.. now I only have a few friends.. thousands of “Friends” and other thousands of haters (I think that fighting with them halp me to remember that happiness..)
I miss my smile..
Im will still waiting for that ***** because I’m tired […]
I am not going into full detail of all the shit that made me who I am today but I’ll give you aÂ little summary.
I was bullied horribly and pretty severely at a private school with 100+ kids and 20 kids in the grade. You were with the same people your whole pre-k to 8th year.
I contemplated suicide at the age of 11 and still do. I wouldn’t let my mom leave because the thoughts of it were overwhelming. She didn’t leave without me but she didn’t take it seriously. I was really going to take a knife and stab myself in the stomach. She didn’t […]
Relapse is such a *****. Things were going so well for me. Why did I visit my old box? What did i expect to feel when i picked up my old blades? Repulsion? Disgust? Or maybe i knew i would get the release i had been looking for. Maybe i knew that the urge i had been fighting all this time would finally be satisfied. I know i started feeling a bit lost when i realized my scars were fading. Why that is? I honesty dont know. Im ashamed by the lack of will power i had this time around. Seven months of no self […]
You’re my friend, or at least I thought you were…
I’m not a toy that you can use.
I have feelings.
You are not here when I need you, you don’t care.
When I cry out for help, you act like you didn’t hear.
You call me a loner, but I’m trying to talk.
But you wont let me… You’re scared of me leaving.
I’m a loner.
I’m a weirdo.
I’m a *****.
Oh, It hurts.
Keep calling me names, It will only make me worse.
You say you’re kidding, just playing around.
But look closer at me what […]
I have bulimia and two years ago I cut 3 little cuts on my stomach. I’m a 14 year old girl and on terms of being depressed, I’ve managed to keep my actions in check. Something change last night. I got into a fight with my best friend that I have told absolutely everything thing to and he’s been totally supportive but, he just full on changed and was against me and called everything what I did or what I think stupid. Â I know that I cut 3 cuts on my stomach 2 years ago but that’s nothing compared to how badly I cut my […]
so some guy Â told me to put my story up here and wait for reactions on it before i do anything.
here’s my fucked story:
i am Jeroen Steeman. i am currently 17 years old, and i live in a small village in the netherlands. my life is garbage.
i used to have a happy life tough. lots of friends i hung out with. two awesome older brothers. a happy mom and dad. then my mother got multiple scerose (that’s the dutch name for it anyway) and lost her shit. all the joy that once exsisted in our family life just got destroyed. both my brothers moved […]
At a very young age, at about 7, I accepted that, in my words and thoughts at the time, “sometimes other people will have what you aren’t meant to”. At the time, I was referring to far simpler things, yet still…. despite feeling very deprived, I struggled on trying to get what I could out of life. Life never seemed to give me back anything for my trying.
See…. by 3 years old, I had already had the skin of my hands boiled off. I don’t remember the event itself, but I sure remember the way my hands looked afterward. I also remember the fact […]
That sure has been the case with a few of my most important posts. 😛
I hate everything about the world. Today my dad got mad at me because I was by myself at a theme park looking for my group. He says I would have “no chance” against any fat fuck trying to pull me into a van because I’m “16 and 5-foot nothing.” Also, yesterday, I was out walking, and a boy in a car rolled down a window and shouted “Take it off, *****!” at me. I’ve gone through this a number of times. I’ve been whistled at and shouted at by boys […]
I can’t believe I let my manipulating ex back into my life! All he does is use me. My best friend/sister has been gone for over a month and I have no one else. I was weak and vulnerable, and he took advantage of me.
My family, needless to say, notice nothing. My dad is too busy with work, my step mother is a self ***** and my grandparents and aunt prefer my younger cousins over me. My mother hasn’t tried to contact me sine Christmas 2011.
The pain is eating at my insides, but I have no way to let it out. I used to cut […]