As I grow up, my Christmas list becomes shorter. It’s because the wishes I have can’t be bought by money or they’re too impossible to grant. I admit, i really miss the feeling of believing in Santa and hanging your favorite socks hoping he’ll drop some stuffs while you were asleep. I still remember how does it feels like to pretend to be asleep and hoping you’ll get the chance to meet Santa. I still remember how damn good it feels to celebrate this holiday with your family members and exchanging gifts with the ones you love.
Guess what? Those were just memories and it can’t happen again…
But you know what’s worse? You can never undo life. We just have to accept the fact that some things have changed from the way they used to be before. You can never replace memories with a good one BECAUSE THE PEOPLE WHO MADE THOSE WERE GONE and from that moment, everything doesn’t feel the same. The things you used to do makes you want to break down. Every single piece of memory left in your mind makes you feel weak and it breaks your heart a little and your whole body gets numb. And then you just want to cry and drown yourself to tears because you can’t explain how painful it feels. When every good memory you had with someone you really love keeps on flashing back, it makes you want to explode like a bomb. Christmas won’t be the same without the people who were the reasons why you want to celebrate it. It’s all different. I’m starting to believe in forever, and if you’d ask me one thing to prove that forever exist, think of the word “change”. Time after time, everything has changed and some things will never be the same no matter how hard you try to make things possible.
When you start to lose someone you really love, maybe you’ll understand.
(btw, i’m only fifteen)