Yet another Christmas my family just wants me to stay in my room which normally i don’t mind but seeing everyone so happy with their family or significant other kills me i wonder why can’t i have that why was i born into such a cruel family why so many questions but the good part is this year i have money and its like 70 here for the first time so i can drive the work truck around (it doesn’t have heat so usually I wouldn’t drive it in the winter) I’ll probably just leave to go to the park or something maybe i don’t know I’ll probably just sleep all day same thing i did on my birthday this year you know guys this next part i honestly don’t know what to think about it personally i think it’s kinda funny but when i told a friend they didn’t laugh few days ago i walked out to get a drink while my family was decorating the tree they saw the cuts on my arms and everything fell dead silent my nephew yelled my name ran over said uppies so i carried him around my sister just smiled cause he hugged me and said love (happy coincidence he’s too young to understand love) the rest of my family stared me down scoring me for holding him i put him down he just clutched my leg and said up up up i pulled him off and gave him to my sister he yelled and yelled i went into my room and listened to my mother say to my sister what’s wrong with him coming out here without even covering his cuts around the child it’s disgraceful you shouldn’t let him be around your son if he keeps doing that my sister said no he helps so much and if my little guy couldn’t see his uncle he’d be heart broken my mom said well you need to be careful he’s dangerous and he scares me and if anything happens don’t say i didn’t warn you i wanted to yell she continued to say that she’ll gladly lie to police if anything does happen so fuck it i guess I’m dangerous i can’t be trusted it’s so nice to learn these things i never knew about myself
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Ffs. Am always sorry to hear of ignorance and closed mindedness. Has anyone ever spoken to you about why you may have a cut or two? I think its awesome your sister appeciates your help and although you say your nephew is too young to understand certain aspects, it must surely help you knowing you are wanted and loved 🙂
I’m sorry I cant offer anything tangible in the help dept. But Mdrry Christmas all the same. I hope things brighten up somehow…
It does brighten things up I always enjoy people saying marry Christmas and I’ve had teachers ask but I’m not in school anymore my dad tries not to look at my cuts my mom says you need to stop or you might end up cutting something other than yourself one day
🙂
Is there any way you could get a handle on the causes? My apologies I havent yet looked for any of your earlier posts. Do you still cut or are they scars? I ask just in case theres a way of channelling in another direction. I understand many dont want to even ask just in case it opens up alsorts, but maybe talking to someone could help. Do you vent here often? If not its a good start!
I appreciate your concern and yes I do vent on here and to be perfectly honest I used to cut just because I was horribly depressed but then as time went on it was a hard habit to break I’d cut in times of stress or anything like that because it feels good it doesn’t really hurt anymore
Yer parents sound like the kind of people that believe some questionable stuff… Like you can catch gayness from a homosexual or Obama is a Muslim born in Kenya. Are you 100% sure you came out of your mom’s uterus? Your sister sounds cool, thank god.
I can’t imagine living in an environment where you aren’t respected. Has it occurred to you that you may be mentally healthier than you think and the only reason you have serious issues is because of your asshat parents?
Hey… Merry Christmas, OK? I think you are fairly normal and probably have two spectacular kidneys that one day will make a great present to a stranger that said something nice to you online.
To be honest see Smith I never thought of it like that because I grew up with an older brother who has schizophrenia and when I was a kid some weird shit would happen and my parents would tell if you do this you’re crazy or oh you can’t do that or else you won’t be apart of the family and we’ll ship you off somewhere
My dad ran a community mental health center back in the day and what you’re describing was all too typical with schizophrenics. Namely, the family needed mental health support more then the child that had his first psychotic break.
Your poor parents! On one hand they could use a goddamned clue, on the other hand I bet they secretly think God is punishing them. That is so sad.
Just skipped through a few of your past posts. Sorry to read of your trials man (?). And I see you’e a veteran of this place! My bad. That note to your nephew was brilliant (as much as it was really sad).
So given its christmas: what can we do to make you and your nephew smile at the same time?! A drawing or a song should do it!
…mary had a ….no wait ….lol
Ha ha you have a good heart don’t let anyone tell you different
What a bunch of fucktards. Lack of compassion and understanding astounds me, even more so from family. All they can see is what they feel and it isn’t about them and never was.
Well Merry Christmas, if you were at my house you could go around sleeveless for all I’d care. fuck the neighbors and Aunt Judith, I always hated her anyway. Maybe she won’t visit next year and I’ll save on all the booze she drinks and doesn’t replace.
I always love hearing your responses they either make me feel better or give me a decent laugh